Dont advise when your child doesnt want it - foster children autonomy

An early look at their primary education, from their linguistic beginnings to their first day of school, changes happen before the astonished eyes of their parents. Although when they are young they enjoy listening to their parents, there comes a time when they do not want to listen to them, since, as developing human beings, they want to be independent. It is then when parents must act with common sense, understanding and love, accompanying, with respect, that unique being that they once rocked in their arms, and that now needs to fly to find its place in the world.

Childhood stubbornness

Raising children, respecting the traits that distinguish their personality, requires intelligent strategies on the part of parents, especially when it comes to stubborn or rebellious children who do not accept advice. Although it is sometimes difficult to accept, experts on the subject assure that solving this type of situation depends entirely on the parents, who must learn to relate to this type of children.

Some important things to keep in mind are:

• This behavior is not a problem, but a personality trait of your child.
• It is not intentional behavior to offend the parents.
• These children usually have good self-esteem, are independent and decisive, which is valuable.

When parents learn to recognize the characteristics of this type of child, they realize that they are not bad children, but require more subtle approaches to properly guide their upbringing. Establishing clear rules and routines at home is beneficial, as it helps to establish limits that the child must respect and allows them, from an early age, to understand the sense of justice, which is of great benefit to them.

Practical solutions

Sometimes the unconditional love that parents feel for their children is not always reciprocated in the same way. As children go through different stages of their childhood and adolescence, parents must find an appropriate balance to guide them, especially when faced with children who openly reject parental guidance. At times like these, the importance of finding effective solutions lies in the hands of the parents themselves, charting an intelligent path to reshape the children's behavior for their own well-being and that of the entire family.

Here are some valuable guidelines available to all parents:

• Avoid hurtful comparisons, as they are offensive to children.
• Remain calm and avoid shouting or violent attitudes.
• Be empathetic and converse in an understandable way according to the child's age.
• Use a sense of humor and games to relieve tensions and reach agreements from a positive position.
• Allow the child to choose between several options, to avoid imposing and to respect their autonomy in decision making, which is valuable training for their adult life.
• Channel their energy by teaching them to be cooperative.

It is fundamental to emphasize that violence, in none of its manifestations, contributes to the educational process. Subjecting children to obedience through coercion and abuse generates timid, resentful and hurt individuals, who will find it difficult to achieve success in their adult life, because they grow up afraid to express their ideas, which hinders the development of their creativity and denies them the opportunity to make mistakes and learn from them.

A treasure to protect

Each child is a unique person, and it is the responsibility of parents to care for them and mold their personality so that, once they reach adulthood, they contribute to society with its richness and diversity, which we all enjoy and are a part of. Although it may seem easier to raise a child with a calm and submissive personality, parents must understand that all human beings learn through a constant process of improvement.

When children ignore their parents' advice due to having a strong personality, it does not mean that they do not love them, but rather that they require skills that parents do not always apply in parenting. Raising a child with a strong personality is more an exercise in thinking than in authoritarianism. As they grow up, they want to explore the world and test their abilities.

Adolescence, with its emotional changes and the strong influence of the peer group, requires parents to intelligently encourage closeness with their children. They should trust in the power of affection, show respect and confidence towards them, cooperate as a family and allow them to surprise them. It should not be forgotten that many illustrious people in history were also children with peculiar concerns and behaviors.