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Test Parental Discernment: What's Negotiable and What's Not
Agenda
QUESTION 1: What is the main criterion for deciding whether an issue is negotiable?
Aesthetic preferences of parents
What the child's friends do
Their significance and real impact on your life
Comfort to avoid arguments
2nd QUESTION: What is an example of an inconsequential issue that can be left to the child's liking?
Cross the street alone
Choose their own clothes to wear
Attending an isolated party unsupervised and with alcohol
Driving without a license
3rd QUESTION: In which situation does a resounding 'no' correspond according to the text?
Allow her to choose her hairstyle
Letting you decide the order of your household chores
Accepting going for a walk in the park with friends and a responsible adult
Going to a party in an isolated place, without reliable supervision and with access to alcohol
QUESTION 4: How should 'no' be communicated in dangerous situations?
Shouting to impose authority
Firmly, respectfully and validating their feelings
With sarcasm to make him/her see the mistake
Avoiding explaining the reasons
QUESTION 5: What characteristic indicates that an issue is nonnegotiable?
Contradict the parent's personal taste
Require little effort on the part of the child
That it is a passing fad
Involving real danger or risk to their health or that of others
QUESTION 6: What key question should a parent ask in the face of conflict?
If this thing we are fighting about is really important and transcendent
If I can win the argument without consequences
Whether my child will learn more if I humiliate him or her
If this will get him to obey me every time
7th QUESTION: Why is it advisable to let go of unimportant issues?
Because clinging to them is exhausting and damages the relationship
Because it shows who is in charge without costs
To avoid any future disagreement
Because the adolescent does not have a say
8TH QUESTION: What resource does the text propose to maintain the connection when saying 'no'?
Completely ignore their emotions
Punish every protest with more restrictions
Validate their feelings and explain reasons for the limit
Partially give in to avoid anger
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