Behavior management using points and rewards

Parenting is a journey full of challenges, and behavior management is one of the areas that can generate more questions and concerns among parents.

Over the years, different approaches have emerged to address children's behavior, and one of the methods that has gained popularity is the points and rewards system. This approach, based on positive reinforcement principles, seeks to shape and encourage desirable behaviors.

In this session, we will explore in detail how this system works, its benefits and ethical considerations, and we will provide practical guidelines for its implementation.

Understanding the Points and Rewards System

In essence, the points and rewards system is a behavior modification approach that uses positive reinforcement to motivate children towards desirable behaviors.

Children earn points for positive actions or achievements and then redeem these points for predetermined rewards. This structure provides a clear and tangible form of recognition and strengthens the relationship between behavior and positive consequences.

Benefits of the Points and Rewards System

• Clarity and Consistency: A standout aspect of this system is the clarity it provides to both parents and children. Expectations and rewards are transparent, which helps to establish boundaries consistently.

• Encouraging Positive Behaviors: By focusing on rewarding positive behaviors, the points and rewards system creates an environment that promotes self-discipline and self-regulation.

• Development of Goal-Setting Skills: This approach teaches children to set achievable goals and to work towards them steadily, promoting valuable life skills.

• Positive Reinforcement: The foundation of the system, positive reinforcement, strengthens the emotional connection between parents and children by highlighting and celebrating positive aspects of behavior.

• Ethical Considerations: Despite the benefits, it is essential to address the ethical considerations associated with the points and rewards system. Care must be taken to avoid creating a dynamic where love and attention are conditioned on the accumulation of points. Additionally, it is crucial not to use the system as a form of manipulation, but as a tool for positive development.

Practical Steps to Implement the System

• Define Behaviors and Rewards: Identify specific behaviors that are desired to promote and associate appropriate rewards with each one. Clarity in these definitions is fundamental.

• Establish a Points System: Determine the number of points assigned to each behavior and create a system to track these points. This could be through a physical board, an app, or even simple tracking sheets.

• Involve Children in the Process: Encourage active participation of children by allowing them to contribute in the selection of behaviors and rewards. This increases their commitment to the system.

• Consistency and Patience: Consistency is key for the system's success. Parents need to apply the rules consistently, and patience is essential, as behavior change takes time.

• Reevaluate and Adjust as Needed: Parenting is dynamic, and what works at one time may need adjustments later. Be willing to reevaluate and adjust the system according to changing needs.

Common Challenges and Handling Strategies

• Demotivation: If a child becomes demotivated, it's crucial to review and adjust the rewards so they continue to be meaningful.

• Comparisons Between Siblings: Avoid direct comparisons between siblings and personalize the system according to individual needs and personalities.

• Risk of Externalizing Control: To prevent children from seeing rewards as the only motive for good behavior, parents should balance the system with verbal praises and gestures of affection.