Archaic Gestures of Insecurity (Sucking Reflex)

The Origin of the Gesture (Infantile Comfort)

It is essential to be aware of the postures we should avoid, as they send a clear signal of insecurity and lack of confidence.

Many of these gestures are innate, almost genetically inherited, which makes them very difficult to hide or disguise. A clear example is the sucking reflex.

Babies have an instinctive reflex to suck on their mother's breast or their own finger.

This action has a dual purpose: feeding and, crucially, comfort.

It is an archaic gesture that helps them to comfort themselves and regain a sense of security.

The refined gesture in adults (pen, eyeglasses, cigarette)

This innate self-comfort reflex does not disappear in adulthood, but is transformed and becomes more sophisticated and less obvious.

Instead of thumb sucking, an adult who feels uncomfortable, stressed or insecure will seek to replicate that sense of comfort by taking a substitute object into his or her mouth.

Common examples are biting on a pen, lighting a cigarette, biting the temples of eyeglasses, or bringing any other object to the lips.

When you notice your interlocutor making this gesture, especially in a tense moment, it is a clear sign that he or she is experiencing stress.

The need for self-awareness

From a self-image perspective, this type of gesture should be avoided in a professional context, as it sends an unconscious signal that you are uncomfortable or seeking comfort.

The main problem is that most of these gestures are completely unconscious and automatic.

Many people deny having these habits until someone points it out to them or they see themselves on a recording.

Therefore, the first step in controlling these insecure gestures is to become aware of them.

If you know that you tend to bite down on a pen under pressure, you can make an active decision to leave it on the table during an important negotiation.

Summary

We must be aware of postures that send clear signals of insecurity. Many of these gestures are innate and difficult to hide or disguise.

A clear example is the sucking reflex. Babies instinctively use it not only for feeding, but also as an archaic gesture of comfort.

This reflex does not disappear in adults, but is transformed. A stressed adult will chew on a pen, glasses or smoke to replicate that sense of comfort.