Eye Contact (Trust and Interest)

Sign of trust and honesty

Eye contact is one of the most important elements of nonverbal communication.

Looking someone directly in the eye sends a clear signal of trust and honesty.

It also shows that you are interested in what the person in front of you is saying.

Maintaining good eye contact creates a strong bond; therapy studies have shown that proper eye contact creates a stronger connection between therapists and their patients.

In a social or professional interaction, it allows both parties to feel comfortable and paves the way for a fruitful relationship.

Averting the gaze (insecurity, awkwardness, lying).

Conversely, when a person avoids eye contact, constantly moving their eyes from side to side, this communicates several negative messages.

It may show that the person lacks self-confidence, is uncomfortable in the situation, or is simply not interested in the conversation.

At worst, it can be an indicator that they are hiding something, trying to conceal their true feelings, or even attempting to lie.

If you notice that your conversation partner is avoiding your gaze, you need to do something, as that conversation is unlikely to produce the results you want.

The Ideal Duration (70% Rule)

Maintaining eye contact is crucial, but staring at someone non-stop (100% of the time) can be intimidating to both you and the other person. It is considered aggressive.

Some experts recommend maintaining eye contact about 70% of the time during a conversation.

It is up to you to judge the ideal time to briefly avert your gaze (perhaps to process a thought) before re-establishing contact with the person in front of you.

Gaze synchronization technique

An advanced and very natural technique for managing eye contact is to synchronize your gaze with that of the person in front of you. When they speak, look them in the eye.

It is natural for people to look away momentarily as they speak to search for a memory or construct a thought.

As soon as they look away, look away briefly, ideally in the same direction. Then re-establish eye contact.

This should happen naturally and creates a synchronization that feels very comfortable and connected.

Summary

Eye contact is one of the most important elements. Looking someone in the eye sends a clear signal of trust, honesty and interest.

When a person avoids eye contact, it communicates several negative messages. It can show lack of trust, discomfort, disinterest or, at worst, deception.

Maintaining eye contact is crucial, but staring without stopping is intimidating. Experts recommend maintaining eye contact about 70% of the time.