Addictions and Couples

Basic Phenomenology: Tolerance and Dependence

To intervene with couples affected by addictions, it is necessary to master clinical terminology.

Tolerance is the phenomenon by which the organism adapts to the substance, requiring higher and higher doses to obtain the same initial effect.

Dependence is the state in which the body or mind needs the substance to function normally; its absence causes withdrawal syndrome, a set of painful physical and psychological symptoms after the abrupt interruption of consumption. We also differentiate between Habit (regular use) and Abuse (use that causes harm).

In the couple context, it is vital to identify when recreational use crosses the line into pathology, affecting intimacy, finances and trust.

Addiction is not just a vice, but a chronic disease that alters neurobiology and behavior.

The relational metaphor: From honeymoon to ruin.

The relationship with the substance can be understood through a parallel metaphor to a toxic couple relationship.

It begins with Infatuation and the Honeymoon, where consumption produces euphoria, pleasure and relief without apparent negative consequences; risks are minimized and control is felt.

This is the seduction phase of the drug. Progressively one enters Betrayal and Ruin.

The negative effects appear, but the addict continues to consume to avoid discomfort (abstinence) or to cover up problems, just like someone who stays in a bad relationship for fear of loneliness.

Finally, the addict reaches the phase of imprisonment, where the substance totally controls the individual's life, displacing the real partner, work and dignity. The addict "sells" everything to maintain his relationship with the drug.

Codependency: Addiction to the person.

Addiction is a family disease. The non-addicted member often develops Codependency: a condition where their life obsessively revolves around controlling, saving or covering for the addict.

The codependent allows the other's behavior to affect him or her to the point of overriding his or her own identity.

Symptoms include difficulty in setting limits, the assumption of other people's responsibilities and a feeling of indispensability ("if I don't take care of him, he dies").

This dynamic perpetuates the addiction, as the codependent often "cushions" the negative consequences of consumption (paying debts, lying to the boss), preventing the addict from hitting rock bottom.

Intervention should address both the consum