Basic Behavioral Records

The importance of objectivity versus subjective perception.

In the field of couples therapy, it is common to encounter significant discrepancies in the perception of reality.

While one partner claims "I am always early," the other may maintain "you are always late."

These cognitive distortions and confirmation biases hinder diagnosis and intervention.

To counter this, the behavioral approach introduces tangible data collection as a fundamental tool.

The goal is to transform vague and subjective complaints into quantifiable and verifiable data.

The therapist instructs the couple to act as scientific observers of their own dynamics.

By recording specific events, the ambiguity of emotional language ("you never...", "you always...") is removed and grounded in factual reality.

Not only does this provide a baseline for measuring treatment progress, but often, the simple act of observing and noting a behavior begins to modify it, as it increases awareness of automatic patterns that went unnoticed in the daily routine.

Frequency Logging for discrete events

Frequency recording is the most straightforward technique and consists of counting the exact number of times a specific behavior occurs within a delimited period.

It is ideal for "discrete" behaviors, i.e., those that have a clear beginning and end and a short duration.

For example, instead of arguing about whether one is "affectionate or not," the partner is asked to note how many times there was a gesture of physical affection (a hug, a kiss) in a week.

This method is very versatile and can be applied to problematic or positive behaviors.

One could record the number of times one interrupts the other while talking, or the number of text messages sent during the workday.

To facilitate compliance, the use of simple tools, such as notes on a cell phone or markings on a calendar, is recommended, avoiding complex systems that generate resistance.

Reviewing this data in session is often revealing, often disproving absolutist beliefs that underpin conflict.

Duration recording for states and times

When the concern is not how many times something occurs, but how much time is spent on it, the duration log is used.

This tool measures the time span from when a behavior starts until it ends.

It is essential to eva luate dynamics that consume time or are perceived as endless or insufficient.

A classic clinical example would be the management of discussion times versus connection times.

If a couple reports that they "spend their lives fighting," the stopwatch may reveal that arguments last 15 minutes, but the subsequent rumination lasts for hours.

Another crucial use is in the realm of sexuality or shared leisure: objectively measuring how much actual quality time they spend together without screens, or the duration of foreplay in intimacy.

These data make it possible to adjust unrealistic expectations (such as believing that an encounter must last hours to be valid) and to set progressive and realistic goals for change.

Summary

Objectivity counteracts cognitive distortions and confirmation biases in the couple. Transforming vague complaints into quantifiable data eliminates emotional ambiguities, grounding the diagnosis in observable factual reality.

Frequency recording accurately accounts for discrete behaviors during delimited periods. Reviewing these data disproves absolutist beliefs about lack of affection or excessive communicative interruptions.

The duration log measures temporal lapses of states or time spent. It allows adjustment of unrealistic expectations about cohabitation, shared leisure or the duration of satisfying intimate encounters.