Constructivism and Narrative

From objective normality to the construction of meanings.

The evolution of family therapy has led us to question rigid models of what constitutes a "functional family". Early currents sought to return the family to an idealized structure.

However, the constructivist approach challenges this notion, arguing that there is no single correct way of relating.

Today, with the diversity of relational configurations, trying to impose a model of "normality" is obsolete and ineffective. Constructivism postulates that each couple creates its own reality and meaning.

What for one couple may be an unacceptable emotional distance, for another may be a living space of satisfactory autonomy.

Therefore, clinical work does not consist in correcting the couple to fit a statistical mold, but in understanding how they have constructed their joint narrative and whether this construction is useful or causes them suffering.

The therapist's role: From expert to collaborator

Under this paradigm, the hierarchy in the consultation room changes drastically. The therapist is no longer the expert "mechanic" who diagnoses and repairs a broken part based on a universal manual.

Instead, he or she becomes a partner or collaborator in the discovery process. The partner is the expert in his or her own life and experience.

The practitioner acts as a facilitator who helps clients explore their own perceptions and meanings.

The stance of imparting "absolute truths" about how love should be is abandoned in favor of a model of co-construction where the couple is helped to rewrite the narratives that are causing them pain, seeking alternative meanings that allow for a more harmonious coexistence.

The relativity of problems: objective reality or perception?

From the constructivist perspective, problems do not exist in a vacuum; they exist because someone defines them as such.

A behavior only becomes problematic when it conflicts with the worldview or expectations of one or both partners. For example, consider leisure management.

If both partners value extreme independence, spending weekends apart is not a problem.

Conflict arises only if one interprets this separation as unloving. However, this relativity has limits.

There are situations, such as violence or abuse, that are objectively problematic and harmful, regardless of whether the couple has normalized them in their internal narrative.

The therapeutic challenge lies in navigating between respect for the couple's construction of reality and professional ethics in the face of objective risk situations, helping to distinguish between relational preferences and destructive dynamics.

Summary

The constructivist approach questions rigid models of objective normality in families. Each couple creates their own meanings about their reality, autonomy and acceptable emotional distance.

The therapist abandons the role of mechanical expert to be a facilitating collaborator. The couple is expert as they co-construct less painful and useful narratives.

Problems are perceived according to specific internal expectations and worldviews. There are objective ethical boundaries to situations of harmful violence or abuse.