Humanistic-Existential Approach

The attitude and authenticity of the therapist as a tool

In the humanistic model, technique is secondary to the therapist's attitude. It is based on the premise that the healing relationship is based on an authentic encounter between human beings, stripped of the hierarchical distance of the traditional medical model.

The therapist does not hide behind a rigid "professional mask" or a distant expert role, but presents him/herself as a real person, capable of emotional resonance. This implies authenticity and transparency.

If the therapist is moved, he/she shows it; if he/she is confused, he/she admits it. This modeling of humanity allows the couple to lower their own defenses.

Consultants are not treated as "patients" or "cases" with pathologies, but as people in a process of vital search and suffering.

Warmth, unconditional acceptance and congruence are the vehicles of change.

The person-to-person encounter and reciprocity

Therapy is conceived as an existential dialogue where two (or three) people meet on a plane of ontological equality.

The therapist is not a mechanic repairing a broken object, but an experienced fellow traveler.

This approach emphasizes that growth is mutual; in each deep therapeutic process, not only the client changes, but also the therapist. This perspective depathologizes suffering.

The couple's problems are not necessarily seen as symptoms of illness, but as difficulties inherent to the human condition and to living together.

By validating their struggle as legitimate and human, shame is reduced and dignity is fostered.

The therapeutic space becomes a safe haven where vulnerability can be explored without fear of clinical judgment.

The concept of self-realization and conscious choice

The ultimate goal of this approach is self-realization: helping each member of the couple to become what they can potentially be.

It works to make people aware of their true desires and needs, distinguishing them from social or family mandates ("I must do this").

The goal is to move from neurotic "should" to authentic "want". This involves fostering personal responsibility.

Patients are invited to question their automatic choices, "Do you really want to go to that family dinner or are you going because you feel it is your obligation?"

By regaining the ability to make conscious choices, even in small everyday things, the person regains his or her agency.

In the couple, this translates into being together by renewed choice and not by inertia or fear, allowing for a more lively and less mechanical relationship.

Summary

The humanistic model prioritizes the attitude and authenticity of the therapist over the secondary technique. The healing relationship is based on an authentic encounter between human beings without rigid medical hierarchies.

Warmth and unconditional acceptance depathologize human suffering as difficulties inherent to coexistence. The therapeutic space provides a safe haven to explore vulnerability without external judgment.

The goal is self-realization by encouraging personal responsibility and conscious choice of goals. It helps to move from neurotic duty to authentic wanting, recovering individual agency in the now and always.