Sense of Transcendence

Creating shared meanings and couple culture.

The top level of the House of Strong Relationship is the creation of a sense of transcendence.

This refers to the building of a "culture of two" with its own symbols, metaphors and narratives.

Each partner merges their past histories to create a new joint identity that answers the question, "What is our mission and purpose together?"

This level involves exploring deep values, philosophical or spiritual beliefs, and the legacy they wish to leave.

It is not just about living together, but about building a shared inner life where you both feel supported in your search for existential meaning. It is the spiritual "glue" that binds the couple together beyond the daily logistics.

Rituals of connection and common goals

One practical way to establish this shared meaning is through connection rituals.

These can be formal (such as celebrating certain holidays in a unique way) or informal (such as coffee together every morning or a sacred weekly date).

Rituals structure time and provide predictability and emotional connection. One specific example is the "six-second kiss."

It has been suggested that a kiss of this duration is long enough to stop the hustle and bustle of the world and reconnect romantically, serving as a transition ritual when saying goodbye or reconnecting.

These small acts, repeated over time, weave the safety net of the relationship and reinforce the identity of "we."

Supporting each other's life dreams

An essential component of transcendence is mutual support for individual dreams and aspirations.

Often, perpetual conflicts arise because there is a life dream blocked beneath the rigid position of one partner.

Therapy seeks to uncover these hidden dreams (such as the desire for freedom, security, adventure or impact).

Helping the couple become the guardians of each other's dreams strengthens the bond immensely.

It doesn't necessarily mean realizing every dream, but validating it, understanding it and, when possible, facilitating it.

When we feel that our partner understands and honors our deepest aspirations, the level of commitment and trust solidifies, thus completing the structure of a strong relationship.

Summary

A sense of transcendence involves building one's own culture with symbols, metaphors and narratives. The couple defines a joint mission by exploring deep values and shared legacies within their lives.

Rituals of connection, formal or informal, structure time and provide emotional predictability. Small repeated acts weave safety nets reinforcing the identity of the we with lots of love present.

Supporting individual dreams strengthens commitment when the partner acts as an aspirational guardian. Validating deep longings solidifies trust and completes the relational structure in a fully satisfying way.