Typologies of Love I

Affection and Infatuation: A Single Component

When analyzing the combinations of Sternberg's elements, clear typologies emerge. When there is only Intimacy, we speak of "Affection".

This is the bond characteristic of true friendships, where there is closeness, warmth and trust, but absence of intense sexual desire and long-term life commitment as a couple.

In consultation, it is vital to differentiate if a couple has "returned" to being just friends or if they never developed the other components.

On the other hand, when only Passion is present, we are faced with "Infatuation". It is the classic "love at first sight" or erotic obsession.

It is characterized by an extreme idealization and a strong physical attraction, but lacks the deep knowledge of the other (intimacy) and the decision of permanence (commitment).

These relationships are usually volatile and short-lived, dissolving as quickly as they began once the novelty wears off.

Empty Love: Commitment without substance

"Empty Love" occurs when there is Commitment but both intimacy and passion are lacking.

It is common in the final stages of long relationships that have deteriorated, where the couple remains together for "the sake of the children," for patrimony or for fear of loneliness, but no longer share an emotional or physical life.

They feel respect and loyalty, but live emotionally disconnected parallel lives.

It is also the way culturally arranged marriages begin, where commitment precedes the development of intimacy or passion.

In therapy, the challenge with these couples is to determine if there are embers that can be rekindled or if the relational system has reached irreversible necrosis.

Often, one partner suffers deeply from loneliness within this type of "functional" but devitalized union.

Romantic Love: Passion and Intimacy without a future

The combination of Intimacy and Passion creates "Romantic Love". In this type of relationship, the lovers are physically and emotionally united; they like each other, desire each other and know each other deeply. However, there is no Commitment.

It is typical of summer loves or intense but brief relationships, where the enjoyment of the "here and now" is maximum, but there are no plans for the future or a shared vision of life.

The problem arises when one partner expects the relationship to evolve into a commitment and the other remains only in the enjoyment of the moment.

This discrepancy in expectations is a frequent source of conflict and pain in the early stages of couple formation, leading to feelings of disappointment if the relational contract is not clarified.

Summary

Affection involves only emotional intimacy typical of true friendships. In contrast, infatuation is pure passion without deep knowledge, resulting in volatile relationships based on extreme erotic idealizations.

Empty love is characterized by commitment devoid of passion and intimacy. It is common in deteriorating unions that remain for fear of loneliness, children or shared economic interests.

The mixture of passion and intimacy creates romantic love without future commitment. These intense relationships often generate disappointment if the expectations of permanence do not coincide between the partners.