Affective ambivalence and psychological conflict

The emotional bond that is established with important objects in life—whether people, ideals, or situations—is rarely unambiguous. Although they may appear to be bonds of pure affection, contradictory feelings often coexist at their core.

This emotional duality becomes especially evident when the object is lost. Along with the pain of absence and longing, opposing emotions such as resentment, reproach, or even relief also emerge.

This coexistence of love and hostility is not a failure of the bond, but a structural feature of human emotional life, which becomes conflictual during the grieving process.

Influence of the Oedipus complex on ambivalence

The origin of this emotional ambivalence can be traced back to the first emotional bonds that form the basis of our subjectivity. During childhood, the figures of reference that awaken love are also, at the same time, a source of frustration or limitation.

This initial web of desire, rivalry, and prohibition is part of what psychoanalytic theory has conceptualized as the Oedipus complex. From then on, the significant relationships we establish in adult life carry, in the background, a trace of this complex mixture of emotions.

Therefore, the loss of an important object can reactivate unresolved unconscious conflicts, where loving and hating at the same time becomes a knot that is difficult to untangle.

The role of repression and identification in the development of grief

The psychological conflict that is unleashed in grief is not resolved consciously. Ambivalent emotions and contradictory memories are often kept out of reach of consciousness through mechanisms such as repression.

This does not mean that they di