The importance of the emotional bridge

One of the most powerful elements in the emotional health of a child or adolescent is building a secure emotional bridge with their attachment figures. This bridge is, symbolically, the pathway through which the child crosses over to the support, empathy, and understanding of the adults around them.

For that bridge to exist, there must be emotional openness on the part of caregivers, who should avoid judgment or comparisons that cause so much damage. Phrases such as “your cousin tries hard” or “you see that your sister gets better grades” are clear examples of how that emotional channel can be destroyed.

The message the child receives is that they are not good enough, that they are not seen for who they are, but in relation to others. This dynamic damages self-esteem and emotionally distances the child from their caregivers, creating a void that in many cases is filled with anxiety, sadness, or withdrawal.

Phrases such as “when I was a child, I solved everything on my own” should be replaced by active listening and emotional availability.

Parents and adults should remember that emotional support is not measured by the amount of advice given, but by the quality of the presence offered.

Previous generations lived under a model in which children “did not talk about their problems” and where toughness was confused with strength. Today we know that this logic only represses emotions and reinforces isolation. When a child hears phrases such as “I didn't complain when I was your age,” they receive the implicit message that their emotions are not valid.

Active and empathetic listening, on the other hand, involves looking the child in the eye, turning off your cell phone, showing genuine interest, and validating their experience. Although children's problems may seem insignificant to an adult, they can be the center of a child's world. Validating their sadness over a fight with a friend or feeling “less than” in class teaches them that they have a right to feel and that they are not alone.

The emotional bridge is built with small daily actions

It doesn't take big speeches to make a child feel supported. Just asking “How did you feel today?” or saying “You seem a little down, do you want to talk?” is enough. It also helps to offer moments of real connection, without screens, without rushing, and without distractions.

Children who feel they can tell their parents what is going on without fear of being judged or scolded develop greater resilience and are less prone to depressive disorders. Emotional availability means that the adult is present in spirit, not just physically.

This means disconnecting from work stress, screens, and worries, and providing the child with a space for emotional connection. As with any bridge, traffic must flow in both directions: the child must be able to reach the adult, and the adult must also approach without invading.