Evolutionary Model A: The 5 Marital Stages

From chemical ecstasy to falling off the pedestal

Every meaningful relationship usually begins in the "Enchantment" stage. This is a state of altered consciousness brought about by a neurochemical cocktail where the other is perceived as perfect.

In this stage, we minimize differences; if one likes movies and the other likes sports, it is seen as an opportunity to learn, not as a conflict.

There is a sense of euphoria and an absolute certainty of being loved unconditionally.

It is the phase where we show our best version, unconsciously hiding our shadows.

Inevitably, biology cannot sustain this state indefinitely and we enter "Disillusionment". It is the awakening to reality.

Those peculiarities that once seemed adorable are now sources of irritation.

For example, if the spontaneity of the other was once admired, it is now labeled as disorder or financial irresponsibility.

Here power struggles arise, where each tries to change the other to fit back into the idealized image of the beginning.

This is the critical moment where it is decided whether the malaise is the partner's fault or whether it is an opportunity for growth.

The journey through the desert to real love

After disillusionment, many couples enter the "Obligation" stage. This is a functional but gray phase.

They no longer fight so hard to change each other because they have lost hope, so they opt for a peaceful and distant coexistence. Energy is diverted towards children, work or individual hobbies.

You stay together out of inertia, economics or social appearance, but the passion has stagnated.

However, if you work consciously, you can evolve into "Friendship" and eventually "Mature Love".

In these final stages, one gives up the fantasy of having a perfect partner and embraces the real human being in front of us.

We stop looking for the other to complete us and start enjoying their genuine company.

Mature love is not the euphoria of the beginning, but a deep serenity based on radical acceptance of differences and mutual support for each other's growth.

SUMMARY

Relationships begin with a phase of chemical enchantment where everything seems perfect, creating an illusion of total compatibility that eventually crumbles when faced with daily reality and its frictions.

The disillusionment stage gives way to power struggles and disappointment, and can stagnate in a phase of monotonous obligation where the couple coexists functionally but without real emotional connection.

The ultimate goal is to transcend these crises to reach a mature love, characterized by radical acceptance of differences, deep friendship and abandonment of impossible idealized expectations.