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![Nonverbal communication: what your gestures say [and you don't know] - communication skills](/images/postDuplicados/Nonverbal_communication_what_your_gestures_say_and_you_don_t_know.webp "Nonverbal communication: what your gestures say [and you don't know] - communication skills")
Nonverbal communication: what your gestures say [and you don't know] - communication skills
Before you utter a single word, you are already communicating. The way you look, move your hands, tilt your body, or play with your pen sends constant signals. Nonverbal communication is not a guessing trick: it is context, coherence, and patterns. The fascinating thing is that often your gestures say more than you think, and they can reinforce, contradict, or nuance your message. Understanding them will help you connect better, detect tensions, and express yourself more clearly.
It includes gestures, posture, facial expressions, eye contact, tone and pace of voice, personal space, and even the way you dress. It is not about drawing absolute conclusions from a single signal, but about observing sets of behaviors in a specific time and situation. It matters because it influences how you are perceived: credibility, empathy, authority, openness, or nervousness. At the same time, it allows you to better read the other person's emotional state to adjust your style.
Microexpressions are quick flashes that are hard to control and appear when an emotion is intense or unexpected. You don’t need to become a professional detector to notice inconsistencies: if someone says they are happy but their brow is furrowed and the corner of their mouth barely rises, their happiness may not be complete. The key is congruence between what is said and what the face conveys.
An authentic smile involves the eyes: the creases around them mark and the gaze lights up. A polite smile usually stays in the mouth. Neither is "bad"; each serves a function. Identifying them helps you read the level of comfort and closeness in the moment.
Hands tell stories. Visible palms usually convey honesty and openness; hiding them or keeping fists closed can suggest tension or reserve. Crossed arms do not always mean rejection: they can indicate cold, comfort, or concentration. Observe patterns: does the person cross their arms right after an uncomfortable question? Do they uncross them when you change the subject?
Neutral posture, with relaxed shoulders and a straight spine, conveys balance. Leaning slightly forward shows interest; moving away or turning the torso can indicate a need for space or disagreement. Feet give away intention: they point towards what matters to us or towards the exit if we want to finish. If you notice that, when proposing something, the other person's feet turn toward the door, it may be time to summarize and be concise.
Eye contact sustains the conversation, but too much can be intrusive. A comfortable rhythm alternates between looking, looking away, and looking back. Rapid blinking and a furtive gaze often accompany stress; a fixed gaze without blinking can denote challenge or an attempt to control. Synchrony also matters: when two people are in tune, their gazes and gestures tend to coordinate naturally.
Although it belongs to the verbal, its nonverbal dimension (paralanguage) is powerful. Tone, speed, volume, and pauses shape the message. A warm, moderate tone invites listening; speaking too quickly can suggest anxiety or haste; strategic pauses generate clarity and authority. Vocal variation avoids monotony and helps emphasize key ideas without raising your voice.
Respecting space is a form of respect. Getting too close can create discomfort; staying too far can create coldness. Contact (a handshake, a brief touch on the forearm) can reinforce a message of closeness if the relationship and culture allow it. If in doubt, observe the reaction: if the body tenses or withdraws, return to a more comfortable distance.
Adopt a stable posture, keep your hands visible, and use gestures that accompany your ideas. When listening, orient your body, nod slightly, and take notes. This communicates respect and focus. Avoid interrupting with impatient gestures.
Rapport is crucial: match your energy to the client's pace. A genuine smile, balanced eye contact, and open hands build trust. Watch for signs of overload (wandering eyes, body leaning back) to take breaks.
Comfort and curiosity are noticeable: a slight forward lean, a natural smile, and relaxed hands. Avoid checking your phone; it signals disinterest. Notice if the other person mirrors your posture: bodily rapport usually indicates connection.
Framing rules here. Place the camera at eye level, look at the lens when finishing key ideas, and gesture within the frame. Short pauses compensate for latency. A clear voice and a measured pace help more than ever.
Signals do not mean the same thing everywhere. In some cultures, direct eye contact is a sign of frankness; in others, it can be disrespectful. Personality differences matter: an introverted person may keep their arms close to their body without that meaning rejection. And the day's emotional state weighs in: tiredness, pain, or stress alter expression. For that reason, avoid labeling quickly.
Observation is for understanding, not judging. If you notice tension, adjust your tone, offer pauses, or ask open questions. If you detect enthusiasm, delve deeper into that point. When there are inconsistencies, seek clarity kindly: "Shall we pick this up later?" or "Is there something that worries you about this part?" The goal is to facilitate dialogue, not win a mind-reading game.
For one week, note two situations a day: what you saw, what you thought it meant, and what happened afterward. It will train you to distinguish patterns from hasty assumptions.
Record yourself explaining an idea in one minute. Review hands, posture, gaze, and pace. Choose a single aspect to improve each time. Small accumulated adjustments achieve big changes.
In a conversation, spend two minutes not interrupting and observing signals: breathing, pace, gaze. Then summarize what you understood. You will notice how the connection deepens.
Learning to read and express nonverbal signals is a process of curiosity, practice, and empathy. It is not about memorizing gestures, but about listening with your whole body: what you say, how you say it, and how it resonates in the other person. The more present you are, the clearer the signals will be. And when your words and body language align, communication flows, trust grows, and conversations become more human and effective.
