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Listening to children - educate responsible children
As parents, we often underestimate the value of listening in our relationships with our children. Learning to listen can be complex when we are in a position of authority. Being the one in authority in the parent-child relationship makes us detach ourselves from what is going on around us, making us believe that we have the absolute truth and that children have little to contribute in a debate.
This is a very damaging attitude, because it removes us from empathy and respect towards our children, we believe that we do things for them when in truth we have not even taken the time to know what they really want.
During the development of this guide, we will be delving into the importance of listening to our children when making decisions and knowing what criteria they have about the things that may affect them in a greater or lesser sense.
Acting in a person's best interest is not about doing what we think is best for them, but about taking the time to find out what they want and how we can best meet their interests. As parents, we think we know our children so well that we don't need to know what they think about things that may affect them in one way or another.
We are not talking about letting the child make the decisions, experience and responsibility are not for nothing when it comes to making decisions. What we are talking about is taking the time to know what their true interests are and taking them into account when deciding in their favor.
When a child feels that his parents consider him and value his opinion, there is a greater chance that in the future he will be willing to share with you what makes him uncomfortable or worries him. On the other hand, when we do not listen to our children, they become more reserved in their opinions, afraid to express themselves because they do not want to be ignored or rejected. If you ask your child: "What do you think about this? You will get them to start expressing their opinion even when you don't ask for it. Making him/her part of the decisions made at home, as one of the family, will make him/her feel in an environment of trust, propitious for his/her personal and spiritual development.
Listening is not just sitting and waiting for our child to share his criteria with us. Listening must be honest in order to have the desired effect. Let go of all prejudices and when you exchange with your child, do it from an honest position. Show interest in what he/she says, beyond making him/her a participant in the conversation, what you are looking for is to know what his/her desire or vision is about what is being discussed. Honesty begins by taking your child's words seriously, if their desire is not the same as yours, look for ways to align and reach a point of understanding.
When you listen with honesty this is perceived, the child understands that he/she is valued and that his/her word will have weight in the decisions that will be made. This attitude empowers your child and gives him/her a greater sense of responsibility, since later he/she will have to be consistent with what he/she has expressed, assuming also the burden of the results of what has been decided within the family circle.
