Non verbal communication - foster children autonomy

The famous comedian Charles Chaplin is credited with the phrase:

• "A smile costs nothing, but is worth a lot [...] it does not impoverish the giver, and enriches the receiver [...]"

A characteristic shared by most human beings is that almost all of us react positively to a smile or a gesture of affection or approval. From a very early age, displays of affection generate responses. Body language, such as smiles, hugs and caresses, has great power and contributes as much to a person's physical and intellectual development as the most valuable food.

Safe and necessary refuge

Parents prioritize the protection and nurturing of their children, sparing no expense, driven by their love for them. However, for some parents it is quite difficult to create bonds of affection and share expressions of affection with their children. The reasons may be diverse, but these parents ignore that the greatest refuge they can offer their children in negative situations is in themselves, when through non-verbal communication they show them unconditional love and support. By relying on smiles, hugs and gestures that show approval, children not only enjoy this, but also learn from home to be expressive and warm, which will bring them great benefits in their adult life. Nonverbal communication complements children's lives and is a valuable resource for parents who wish to provide their children with a secure and happy upbringing.

Physical contact, play and affectionate words are fundamental to a person's emotional well-being, especially during childhood. However, it has been proven that, as children grow up, this need for affection does not disappear. It is often hidden because it is considered childish behavior or because of fear of rejection, and sometimes because of the presence of negative emotions such as resentment or sadness.

Special care should be taken by parents with adolescent children, because this stage of life is subject to changes that shape their way of thinking and acting, hence, many times, even feeling the desire to receive affection from their parents, they prefer to stay away, feeling ashamed or imitating positions and attitudes of other adolescents and running the risk of being dragged into behaviors that are really harmful to their future development. They are required to have an attitude of positive reinforcement towards their adolescent children, carefully choosing the manifestations of affection that strengthen them and help them feel good about themselves, letting their children know that they are always there for them, showing that their feelings, values, efforts to fulfill their tasks, or when they show cooperation and solidarity, do not go unnoticed, allowing them to feel understood and valued.

Important observations

Every responsible adult puts into practice elementary rules to live in harmony with society, and that is why it is necessary that during the upbringing process, parents transmit this knowledge, thus avoiding future mistakes in their children's lives.

Likewise, parents should keep in mind that:

• Non-verbal communication should be adjusted to the age of the children, looking for the appropriate form for them.

• Sometimes, these gestures of affection can cause an adverse impact, such as when tickling is applied, which can accentuate the state of vulnerability in children, so adults should be attentive to signs that they do not want to continue playing because they feel overcome or frustrated.

• Adolescents may seem distant, but they need to be shown affection, because they do need it badly.

Powerful and long-lasting effects

Nonverbal communication has the advantage of modeling children's behavior effectively, because when they feel approved by their parents, they experience an emotional well-being that leads them to reproduce those actions in order to deserve those expressions of affection again. Parents who intelligently rely on nonverbal communication provide their children with the necessary courage to test and improve their skills, knowledge and creativity, because the positive energy that comes from a simple gesture encourages and drives them, creating powerful effects on their physical and emotional development. On the other hand, the wonderful language of gestures, kisses, hugs and caresses, helps to dissolve any resentment that may exist between parents and children because of some negative situation, because they reinforce the recognition towards children, which is very important in their process of growth and maturity, because it creates in them a healthy pride that works as the basis of a healthy self-esteem by making them feel good about themselves and favoring their understanding of the world and their level of acceptance towards other people, qualities very beneficial for everyone in general. Using nonverbal communication in the family reflects the power of love that builds and unites parents and children, reinforcing a bond that nurtures, unites and protects them so that they can go out into the world as individuals capable of overcoming any challenge and interacting in society, giving the best of themselves.