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La desperation - life coaching
Despair is a feeling of anguish that arises from impatience to see how a specific situation is resolved. It is quite common to feel despair when we do not obtain results as quickly as we wish, which reflects a poor management of our emotions. This feeling can significantly affect our mood, causing stress, anxiety, overwhelm and sadness, among others. Therefore, learning to manage despair is essential to maintain our emotional and personal stability.
During this guide we will be addressing some of the basic factors that revolve around the feeling of despair and how to learn to work on it in order to prevent as much as possible the appearance of negative effects associated with it.
As previously mentioned, anxiety is associated with the urgency to satisfy a need we feel to see a particular situation materialize. Generally, this need comes from two main sources: situations that are beyond our control, that do not depend on us, either because they are associated with factors external to our will or because they demand the minimum time necessary for them to develop.
A common source of despair is circumstances in which we can indeed intervene but have not been willing enough to work consistently on them. The despair that originates from this source responds to a bad management of our energies or a bad mentalization on our part, since although we feel overwhelmed for not having achieved some specific aspect, we are not willing to give everything on our part to achieve it.
The despair that comes from the inability to realize situations that are beyond our control depends exclusively on our ability to control our emotions. If we are able to detect that a situation is beyond our control and that we cannot accelerate it, even if we have the will to do so, the most coherent thing to do would be to work on our mental calm and tranquility to wait for things to come out the way we want them to.
With situations out of our hands, there is little that can be done, we can only work on our emotional intelligence, focusing on other aspects and avoiding being so aware of these situations until the right moment arrives.
As already mentioned, another set of problems that generate despair are those situations in which we can intervene to make them materialize as soon as possible. What happens in this case is that we are faced with the impact of various phenomena such as stress or anxiety, which leads to paralysis instead of taking strong action to solve the problems we have.
The longer the paralysis of our actions lasts, the more likely we are to continue to increase the desperation we have to see the situations that torment us come to fruition. The best way to get rid of the despair that comes from this source is to begin to engage in active work to resolve these situations as soon as possible. From the very moment in which we begin to involve ourselves in a conscious way in accelerating the processes that distress us, we will begin to perceive how the despair disappears progressively.
Almost all the anxiety that is originated by the non concretion of a certain situation responds to the stress generated by not working on it as we should. We must be coherent between our desires and our actions: it is not enough to want something to be solved, if we can support so that the results are perceived more quickly, we should not hesitate to do so.
