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Test Acts of Kindness
Agenda
QUESTION 1: What is the central idea about the relationship between acting lovingly and feeling love?
Acting lovingly can generate feelings of love
Only authentic feelings produce loving actions
Emotion has no relation to behavior
Waiting for each other to change is the best strategy
QUESTION 2: What does the Days of Caring strategy consist of?
Make drastic changes in the relationship
Making small concrete gestures that the partner values
Avoiding contact until the other person relents
Using favors as bargaining chips
QUESTION 3: Why is the specificity of the acts of care important according to the text?
Because they must cost money to demonstrate value
Because the giver always knows what the other wants
Because gestures should be meaningful to the receiver not just the giver
Because they must be publicly announced to be effective
QUESTION 4: What is the effect of taking the initiative in an act of service according to the text?
Interrupting the cycle of negativity and softening defenses
Causes more distance between the couple
Increases the guilt of the giver
Having no effect on the relationship
QUESTION 5: How is the faking it until you make it approach described in the text?
Lying about feelings permanently
Ignoring each other's needs
Demanding immediate reciprocity
Behave as a couple in love to reactivate love
6TH QUESTION: What does the receiver's brain register when receiving a caring gesture?
The giver's brain does not change when performing the act
Only gestures that involve financial expenditure work
Gesture increases emotional distance
The recipient's brain interprets the gesture as a signal of safety and care
7TH QUESTION: What exercise does the text propose to ensure that acts are valued?
Making lists of actions but not sharing them
Exchanging lists of actions that make you feel cared for and committing to them
Counting actions to demand recognition
Avoid any list and act randomly
8TH QUESTION: What should acts of caring look like to prevent them from becoming transactional?
Must seek an immediate benefit in return
Should be used as a bargaining chip for favors
Acts should be unconditional and not a bargaining chip
Should only be done if the other person asks for it
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