Metacommunication: Communicating About Communication

Definition and Context

Starting from the meta position (the neutral and global perspective that the coach adopts), another communicational element of great importance in the coaching process emerges: metacommunication.

This term essentially refers to communication about the content of the communication itself.

It is not about what is being said (the content), but how it is being said, what is happening in the interaction itself, and how the communicative process between coach and coachee is unfolding.

It is a step back to observe and comment on the dynamics of the conversation, rather than just being immersed in it.

This ability to "talk about how we talk" is a powerful tool for improving the quality and effectiveness of the interaction.

Clarifying and Deepening the Interaction

One of the main benefits of employing metacommunication is its ability to clarify, regulate and deepen the interrelationship between two people.

By bringing to the table how the communication is unfolding, misunderstandings can be addressed, expectations adjusted, or simply an awareness of patterns that might be affecting the connection.

For example, the coach might say something like, "I notice that every time we bring up this topic, your tone of voice changes. What's going on there?"

This intervention focuses not on the topic itself, but on how you are communicating about it, opening up space to explore the underlying dynamics and strengthen the trusting relationship.

Unblocking Unproductive Processes

Metacommunication is especially useful for interrupting a communicative process when it becomes unproductive or enters a loop.

Sometimes, the conversation may stagnate, become repetitive or drift into irrelevant topics.

Instead of continuing to force the same path, the coach can use metacommunication to change the logical level of the conversation and unblock the situation.

A comment such as, "We seem to be going around in circles without making progress.

What do we need to change in our conversation to be more productive now?" can effectively redirect energy and open up new avenues of exploration.

Addressing Incongruence and Observing the Underlying.

Another important application of metacommunication is to address the lack of congruence that sometimes occurs between the cue (content) and the order (relationship) of communication.

That is, when what is said in words does not coincide with the way it is communicated at the non-verbal level (tone, gestures, posture).

Point out this discrepancy ("You say you agree, but your expression suggests otherwise to me.

Can we talk about that?") can bring to light hidden messages or unexpressed feelings.

In addition, metacommunication allows us to observe the underlying processes involved in communication, such as unspoken assumptions, fears or resistance, making the implicit explicit so that we can work on it consciously.

Summary

Metacommunication is the ability to communicate about the communication process itself while it is occurring. It is "talking about how we are talking", a higher level of dialogue that observes the interaction.

In coaching, the coach uses it to clarify understanding and manage the dynamics of the session. For example, by saying: "I notice that every time we bring up this topic, your tone of voice changes".

This tool allows to resolve misunderstandings in real time and to review the rapport between coach and coachee. It helps to make explicit what is implicit, improving the transparency and effectiveness of the conversation.