Self-Confidence: Decision, Fear and Obstacles

Self-confidence as an Act of Decision

When we speak of self-confidence, we are not referring to an innate or fixed quality, but fundamentally to a decision. It is you who ultimately decides whether you trust yourself or not.

Like the trust we place in other people, self-confidence depends on our perceptions (how we see ourselves, how we interpret our capabilities and past experiences) and the conscious decision we make based on those perceptions.

It is not something you simply "have" or "don't have," but something you choose to actively cultivate and sustain. It is the confidence in oneself to achieve something.

Fear as the Main Enemy

Generally, the strongest enemy of trust, both in oneself and in others, is fear.

When we choose not to trust another person, it is usually out of fear that our trust will be betrayed.

Similarly, when we choose not to trust our own abilities and skills, it is usually because we are afraid of realizing that, perhaps, we were not as valuable or competent as we thought we were, afraid of failing or not measuring up.

This fear of negative self-eva luation can paralyze us and actively undermine our resolve to trust our potential.

Vital Importance of Self-Confidence

Making the decision to trust ourselves is vitally important, not only for achieving goals, but for our overall well-being.

Self-confidence is directly related to life satisfaction and happiness.

The greater our self-confidence and overall life satisfaction, the greater the likelihood of success in any endeavor we wish to undertake.

Belief in one's own ability acts as an engine that drives action, perseverance and resilience in the face of obstacles.

Common Obstacles to Self-Confidence

When we encounter a person who exhibits low self-confidence, it is likely that one or more of the following three factors are contributing to it:

• Limiting Beliefs: These are negative statements that people repeat to themselves mentally and that, over time, we end up assuming to be true, regardless of whether they have any basis in reality or not.

These beliefs act as self-fulfilling prophecies, limiting our behavior and reinforcing low self-confidence.

• Some common examples include: "I am lazy", "I am bad at time management", or "I lack willpower".
• Unresolved Internal Conflicts: These refer to crises or difficult experiences from the past that have not been fully resolved or integrated.

These unhealed emotional wounds can continue to harm the person in an unconscious way, undermining his or her security and confidence in the present.

• Lack of Positive Experiences (or their Recognition): This factor does not necessarily imply that the person has not had positive experiences or successes in his or her life.

Rather, it is often that he or she has not stopped to appreciate them, recognize them or give them the value they deserve.

Lack of awareness of one's own past achievements prevents one from building a solid foundation of confidence in one's own abilities.

We tend to magnify mistakes and compare ourselves, affecting the perception of our capabilities.

Summary

Self-confidence is not a fixed quality, but fundamentally an active decision to believe in oneself. It depends on how we interpret our capabilities and experiences, choosing to cultivate and sustain it.

The strongest enemy of confidence is the fear of realizing that we are not as competent or of failing. The decision to trust oneself is vitally important, as it is directly related to life satisfaction and happiness.

Low self-confidence is often due to limiting beliefs ("I am not capable"), unresolved inner conflicts or lack of recognition of past positive experiences.