Eye Contact (Oculesia) for Trust and Connection.

Dominant vs. Warm Eye Contact

Eye contact is an incredibly emotionally charged leadership tool.

Not all eye contact is equal; we can distinguish between a dominant and a warm approach.

Dominant eye contact is usually firm, direct and sustained, communicating confidence and control.

It is useful at times when you need to assert authority or remain calm in tense situations.

However, if it is too intense or prolonged, it can be perceived as aggressive or intimidating.

On the other hand, warm eye contact is softer, more fluid and is often combined with gestures such as nodding or subtle smiles.

This type of gaze communicates active listening, empathy and psychological safety ("I'm listening," "I care," "You can trust me").

Emotionally intelligent leaders instinctively use it to build connection and foster trust.

The 50/70 Rule for balance (speaking/listening).

To achieve effective eye contact without being awkward or evasive, there is a practical guideline known as the 50/70 rule.

This rule suggests maintaining eye contact about 50% of the time while speaking and about 70% of the time while listening.

Maintaining too much eye contact while speaking can appear controlling, while maintaining strong eye contact while listening demonstrates attention, care and respect.

This ratio seeks to balance connection with comfort, allowing natural pauses in gaze and avoiding both avoidance and excessive fixation.

Summary

Eye contact is not uniform. Dominant is firm and sustained, communicating control. If excessive, it can be intimidating. Warm is softer, communicating empathy and listening.

The 50/70 rule offers a practical guide for balance. It suggests maintaining eye contact 50% of the time when speaking and 70% of the time when listening.

This ratio balances connection with comfort. It allows for natural pauses, avoiding both avoidance and a fixity that may be overly intense or uncomfortable.