Assertive Technique IV: The [Sandwich Technique] for Constructive Criticism

The Challenge of Expressing Constructive Disagreement

There are times when it is unavoidable to express a disagreement, make a criticism or communicate that we do not like something.

These situations often generate a great deal of tension and discomfort, to the point that we often choose to run away from the conflict and avoid the conversation altogether.

However, repressing these criticisms can damage relationships and generate long-term resentment.

The "sandwich technique" is an assertive communication tool specifically designed to address these moments, allowing us to express our point of view clearly and directly, but minimizing the receiver's defensiveness.

By applying this technique, we not only gain confidence and improve our self-esteem, but also transform a potentially negative criticism into an opportunity for mutual growth.

The Structure of the Technique: Bread, Fill, Bread

As the name implies, this technique structures the message in three parts, similar to a sandwich.

The first slice (The Initial Praise): The conversation should always begin with a positive appraisal, sincere praise or acknowledgment toward the person.

For example, to a co-worker you might say, "You are a very important person for the company," or to a family member, "You are a very important person for the company. or to a family member: "I value your opinions very much and I know that you care about me. This first step creates a climate of trust and openness.

The Filler (The Critique or Area of Improvement): Once the positive tone is established, the critical comment, disagreement or request for change is introduced. This is the central part of the message.

Following the previous example, one could continue with: "...but I would like that..." and here the aspect to be improved is clearly and specifically expressed.

The second slice (The Final Reinforcement): The conversation closes with another positive appraisal or word of encouragement that reinforces the relationship.

For example: "We are delighted with your work and we continue to count on you", or "Thank you very much for always being by my side and for helping me".

The Benefits: Reducing Defensiveness and Encouraging Responsiveness

The main advantage of the "sandwich technique" is that it presents the criticism in a much more digestible and less threatening way.

By wrapping the area of improvement between two positive comments, it prevents the other person from feeling attacked and immediately becoming defensive.

This keeps her more receptive to the message and more willing to consider the proposed change.

It is a strategy that helps resolve and avoid conflict, creating a win-win situation for both parties: you get to express your disagreement in a polite and constructive way, and the other person receives valuable feedback for their growth without feeling belittled.

For this technique to be truly effective, it is essential that the positive eva luations (the "slices") are real, sincere and specific, so it can be very useful to think and prepare beforehand what you are going to say.

Summary

The "sandwich technique" is an assertive tool designed to express a disagreement or make a criticism in a clear and direct way. It minimizes the defensive attitude of the receiver, transforming the criticism into an opportunity for growth.

This technique structures the message in three parts, like a sandwich. It begins with sincere praise, then introduces the criticism or area for improvement, and closes with another positive assessment or word of encouragement.

The main advantage of this technique is that it presents the criticism in a much more digestible and less threatening way. By wrapping the area of improvement between two positive comments, it prevents the other person from feeling attacked.