Erroneous Assumptions that prevent us from being assertive

The Erroneous Belief that Prioritizing is Selfishness

One of the most widespread assumptions that most hinders our assertiveness is the belief that putting our own needs before those of others is an act of selfishness.

This idea, often culturally inculcated, leads us to relegate our desires and well-being for fear of being judged. However, this is a mistake.

Assertiveness teaches us that we have the legitimate right to be first in some occasions and to prioritize our needs without this turning us into selfish people.

Exercising this right does not imply ignoring others, but rather recognizing our own value and the importance of our own well-being, which is fundamental to establishing balanced and healthy relationships.

Fear of Error and the False Need for Perfection

Another paralyzing belief is the idea that it is shameful to make mistakes and that we must have a right answer for every situation.

This pressure for infallibility, often reinforced by the educational system, generates in us an atrocious fear of being wrong. The reality is that we have every right in the world to make mistakes.

In fact, humanity's great advances have come from people who dared to explore new paths, assuming the risk of failure.

Making mistakes is not a sign of weakness, but an indispensable part of learning and innovation.

Accepting this right frees us from paralysis and allows us to act with greater freedom and creativity.

Seeking External Validation for Our Feelings

We often fall into the trap of thinking that if we fail to convince others that our feelings are reasonable, then we must be wrong and our feelings are not valid. This assumption subjects us to the judgment of others.

Assertiveness, on the other hand, defends our right to be the sole and ultimate judges of our own feelings and to accept them as valid, regardless of what others think.

It is crucial to remember that this right is ours as long as it does not infringe on the rights of others.

No one else can dictate how we should feel; validating our own emotions is a pillar of self-confidence.

The Confusion Between Interrupting and Ignorance

Finally, there is a false belief that you should never interrupt anyone and that asking questions is a sign of stupidity or ignorance. Nothing could be further from the truth.

We have the right to interrupt our interlocutor to ask for clarification, especially if the subject affects us directly.

Far from being a sign of ignorance, asking questions demonstrates interest and a genuine desire to understand the situation in depth.

In fact, the people who ask the most questions are usually the ones who get the most answers and, therefore, the ones who acquire the most new knowledge. Curiosity is a driver of learning, not a sign of weakness.

Summary

One of the assumptions that holds assertiveness back the most is believing that putting our needs first is an act of selfishness. Assertiveness teaches that we have the right to prioritize ourselves without it making us selfish.

Another paralyzing belief is the idea that it is shameful to make mistakes and that we must always have the right answer. The reality is that we all have the right to make mistakes, as it is an indispensable part of learning.

We often fall into the trap of thinking that our feelings are not valid if we fail to convince others. Assertiveness, on the other hand, defends our right to be the sole judge of our own emotions.