Permissive families

Love for children is one of the most powerful emotions there is.

However, people often ask themselves: "What is the best way to show love to children?" The intelligent answer to this question will save both parents and children a lot of inconvenience, because it addresses an issue that is not always taken into account: the quality of the love we give our children, because reality shows that, in addition to loving them deeply, it is essential to find the right proportion between expressing our affection and exercising the necessary control and discipline.

Traits of a permissive family

During the first stage of life, children need total care and protection from their parents. Ironically, however, this obvious fragility of the little ones, when mishandled by adults, turns against them. For, although child psychology scholars point out that in the first years of life, all people go through a stage in which they behave as the center of attention and demand to be pleased, it is not necessary to give them more importance than they require.

When parents do not take this factor into account, they tend to misinterpret the demanding actions of their children and end up affecting the solid foundations on which their formation as future adults capable of facing the challenges of the real world with maturity, sensitivity towards others and an intelligent and profitable attitude for themselves and for those around them should be based. Over time, it is possible to identify, by their attitude, the children spoiled by this type of overprotective parents.

Motivations of this family model

Some parents, by allowing their children to act according to their will, without obeying rules or having limits, assume that they are fostering a sense of independence and individual freedom in them. Other permissive parents, because of their insecure personality, do not exercise authority with the necessary firmness and end up being manipulated by their children.

Many parents believe that growing up free and uncontrolled is the way for their children to be happy children and avoid the tensions generated by their demands and requirements. Many permissive parents also experienced a childhood full of shortcomings for different reasons. That is why, when they become parents, they wish to heal that past that hurts them, and they can be heard saying: "My child will not go through what I went through", fulfilling every whim of their children, surrounding them with material wealth, but without stimulating them to incorporate useful values for their adult life. And there may be many more reasons to justify their attitude, but if it is demonstrated that they provide affection and love to their family.

Consequences of this parenting style

The effects of this style of upbringing can be seen in the negative behaviors of some adults with whom we coincide daily, because they behave irresponsibly, immature, do not adapt easily to established rules either in the work, student or social environment, because growing up in homes where there were no orderly and stable routines of life, they cultivate laziness, they are not punctual or respectful, they lose control in situations they do not know how to handle and although they know how to express affection, they are warm and affectionate, they often form unhappy sentimental unions in which their partner suffers the whims and impulsiveness that characterizes them, because they grew up believing that they were always right and without being in a position to understand others, looking for instant gratification; They do not take no for an answer, reaching aggressive situations, hence we can understand that part of the domestic violence suffered by many people has its origin in this model of upbringing.

Many adolescents have an inappropriate social behavior, since coming from permissive families where they were not prioritized an adequate education and discipline, they lost the opportunity to acquire knowledge and skills useful for their lives.

Teachers, sociologists and social workers claim to frequently encounter this type of upbringing, where children receive love, but are not prepared to successfully insert themselves into society.