Being a fair parent

In this chapter, we will explore how our perceptions and expectations influence our children. We will also discuss how to take into account the individual needs of each of them to foster the value of fairness.

Being a fair person involves finding a balance in setting rules and standards. This means not going to the extremes of permissiveness or rigidity, but having the ability to adapt to circumstances.

Expectations.

It is important to be aware that:

• We must adapt responsibilities to the potentialities and weaknesses of our children to help them develop their abilities and overcome their challenges effectively.

• We should not be overly demanding and provide the necessary reinforcement and guidance even if we believe they do not need it.

• Idealizations can make it difficult for us to correct our children when they make a mistake. It is important to be objective and provide constructive feedback.

The example.

It is essential that our example to follow is clear and direct. If we want our children to adopt specific behaviors, we must be willing to teach them how to do them and apply them in our daily lives. In this way, by seeing the people around them being consistent with these principles, our children will be able to internalize this way of acting.

Precisions.

It is also important to note that:

• We must be attentive not only to what our little ones tell us with words, but also to what they communicate through their body language in order to better understand their needs and emotions.

• It is not about always giving them the reason or punishing them, but letting them know that we understand them and that our love for them is unconditional. This will give them security and confidence in their relationship with us.

• We must show empathy and understanding towards our children, without judging their actions or thoughts.

• Criticism should be constructive and used only when we discover that they are stuck in a repetitive and damaging cycle.

• As parents and friends, we can guide them to change their approach and provide them with better alternatives.

• We must accept that we all make mistakes and approach the situation normally to free our children from blame. This will help them reflect on their actions and learn from them.

• If we expect them to reflect without realizing that anyone can make mistakes, we are being inconsistent. It is important to be honest and consistent in our communication with them.

• We must apologize for our mistake