Keys to communicating with children

When we adults become parents, we begin a learning process that, although sometimes complicated, is nevertheless stimulating and beautiful.

A very important part of this new learning process is the communication we establish with our little ones from the first moment of gestation, because even in the womb, our baby can pick up any attempt to communicate with him, and from then on, lay the foundations for an effective identification throughout his life, which will provide him with the affection and preparation necessary to successfully assume his role as an adult in the future.

Respecting the stages

Parents are primarily responsible for meeting their children's needs of all kinds, including not only material needs, but also everything related to the affective and educational sphere, and the way in which they are able to communicate with their children will make this task easier or more complicated, and will bring results to the lives of everyone in the family, whether positive or not.

That is why it is very beneficial for parents to know a little of what child psychology scholars call the interests of children according to their ages, because this basic knowledge will help them to better understand the changes that children are experiencing as they grow up, together with the increasingly strong presence of technologies in the home environment, which increases the learning and interaction options for the little ones, but demands from adults a greater awareness of the physical accompaniment they must provide to their children, because their presence and voice should never be replaced.

Broadly speaking, these stages are:

• First stage: It includes approximately up to the age of three, in which communication with children relies heavily on the rhythm of language, which they learn in daily interaction; they love the repetition of words, and because of their little knowledge of reality, they are more interested in their sound than in their meaning. At this stage the changes in the little ones are noticeable, both in their physique and in their behavior, and communication serves the parents as a way to make the child understand that they must relate to others in an appropriate manner, because at this stage there is a time when they feel the center of attention and demand everything they want, but intelligent communication, loving and firm, will allow the child to understand that they are the center of attention, but intelligent, loving and firm communication will allow children to go through this stage positively, always keeping in mind that communication also includes nonverbal language, such as hugs, caresses, smiles, gestures and games, which they enjoy so much and through which they are perfecting their balance, movements, spatial coordination and relationships with others.

• Second stage: It can be located approximately around the age of four, where children have already acquired some mastery of language and develop their imagination greatly, giving life to inanimate objects that are part of their world, and to coincide with school, they are developing their ability to think and understand more clearly. Parents can also transmit useful values for living in society.

• Third stage: It is characterized by an increased sense of humor and children are able to understand situations of various kinds, and if communication with parents is sincere and healthy, they may even be able to express their ideas. It coincides with the end of primary school.

• Fourth stage: It reaches the beginning of adolescence, and is one of the most complex, because children are undergoing hormonal changes that not only change their physical appearance but also their moods, requiring from parents a greater accompaniment and understanding.

How we should communicate

Good communication with children should have the following characteristics:

• Offer praise when they deserve it.

• Pay attention to what they tell us, so that they feel listened to.

• Do not argue, because the friendly way of responding to them will allow them to learn and be responsible.

• Avoid imposing measures, but rather agree on them.

• Set an example and share experiences.

• Do not have a critical attitude or judge them, on the contrary, try to persuade them to correct their mistakes.

• Keep in mind that the tone of voice, look and gestures also convey a message, which must be clear, avoiding anything unnecessary.

• Take into account the physical environment, as it influences the way the message is received.

• Behave empathetically, which reinforces trust and makes children feel loved.

Effective communication

The communication provided by parents is irreplaceable for the formation of children, because it allows both parties to know each other and exchange knowledge and skills that favor the personal advancement of everyone in the family. An intelligent, sincere and affectionate communication provides children with a safe emotional environment where they can learn values, customs, traditions and the ethics that characterize the family group to which they belong, being what they will share in their future life with their descendants.

Effective communication provides children with a level of understanding and affection so that they grow up healthy, developing skills to establish good relationships in the future, and receive from parents the support and affection they need to strengthen their self-esteem and successfully face the new challenges that come into their lives.

When parents maintain good communication with their children, they not only transmit knowledge and support, but also provide pleasant moments of high emotional value, such as when they praise their children for a good result, play with them or stimulate them to take action to achieve their goals, always showing respect and love towards their children, as unique and valuable beings.