Listening to children

As parents, we often underestimate the importance of listening in our relationship with our children.

Learning to listen can be tricky, especially when we are in a position of authority. As the authority figures in the parent-child relationship, it is easy to become disconnected from what is going on around us and think we possess the absolute truth, thus minimizing the opinions of the younger ones during a discussion.

This attitude can be detrimental, as it distances us from empathy and respect for our children. We often believe we are acting in their best interest, but we do not take the time to really understand what they want.

Throughout this guide, we will delve into the relevance of listening to our children when making decisions and the importance of understanding their perspective on issues that may impact them.

Understand your children's wishes

Acting in someone's best interest doesn't mean simply doing what we think is best for that person, but taking the time to find out what they really want and how we can effectively meet their needs. As parents, we often think we know our children so well that we don't need to ask their opinion about what affects them.

It's not about the child making the decisions. Experience and responsibility are crucial when deciding. What we seek is to take the time to understand their true interests and consider them in our decisions.

Listening promotes trust

If children feel that their parents value them and take their opinions into account, they are more likely to feel comfortable sharing their concerns in the future. Conversely, if we don't listen to them, they may become more reserved, afraid to express themselves for fear of being ignored or rejected. If you are in the habit of asking your child:

What is your opinion about this?" this will encourage him to start expressing his thoughts, even without you asking. Including him in family decisions will make him feel part of the group, creating an environment of trust that will benefit his personal and emotional development.

Listen with honesty

Listening is not just sitting and waiting for your child to express himself. Listening must be sincere to have the desired impact. You must put aside any prejudices and, when dialoguing with your child, do so from a genuine position.

Show interest in what they say, not only to include them in the conversation, but to understand their desire or perspective on the topic under discussion. Honesty begins with taking what your child expresses seriously. If their wishes differ from yours, look for ways to align both points of view and reach a mutual understanding.

When listening is done with sincerity, your child senses this and feels that his or her opinion is valued, which gives his or her words weight in family decisions. This attitude empowers your child and gives him a greater sense of responsibility, since he will later have to be consistent with what he has said, assuming also the consequences of the decisions made within the family.