The three types of empathy

Cognitive Empathy. Intellectual Understanding

Empathy is a complex skill that manifests itself in different ways.

The first type is cognitive empathy.

This is the ability to understand another person's perspective on a purely intellectual level.

It involves understanding their mental model of the world, their thoughts and their reasons, without needing to share their emotional state.

It is the ability to say: "I understand how you see this situation and why you think that way."

This form of empathy is extremely useful in professional contexts, such as in a negotiation, where understanding the other party's interests is crucial, or in leadership, to understand the team's motivations.

It allows for clear communication and strategic decision-making, as it is based on a rational understanding of the other person's perspective.

However, if it is not complemented by the other forms of empathy, it can be perceived as cold, calculating, or distant.

Emotional Empathy. Feeling with the Other

The second type is emotional empathy, also known as affective empathy.

This is where we truly "feel with" the other person.

It is the ability to tune into someone's emotional state to the point of feeling a resonance of that feeling in our own body.

It is the phenomenon of "emotional contagion": when we see someone cry and we feel a lump in our throat, or when someone laughs heartily and we can't help but smile.

This form of empathy is what creates the deepest and most visceral human connection.

It is what makes us feel truly accompanied in our pain or joy.

It is the basis of intimacy and trust in personal relationships.

However, an excess of unmanaged emotional empathy can be exhausting, leading us to "empathy burnout" or feeling overwhelmed by the emotions of others, losing the ability to help effectively.

Compassionate Empathy. The Impulse to Help

The third and most active type is compassionate empathy, also called empathic concern.

This form of empathy is the synthesis of the previous two and takes them a step further.

Not only do we intellectually understand the other person's situation (cognitive empathy) and feel a resonance of their emotion (emotional empathy), but this combination compels us to act.

Compassionate empathy is what motivates us to offer help, to seek solutions, and to actively engage with the other person's well-being.

It transforms understanding and feeling into tangible support.

It is the most constructive form of empathy, as it channels the emotional connection toward a positive outcome.

A fully developed emotional intelligence does not limit itself to just one type of empathy.

Rather, it learns to navigate fluidly between the three, applying understanding, feeling, and action in the most appropriate and balanced way for each situation.