The social problem with unpleasant emotions

Our society today has a complicated relationship with unpleasant emotions.

There's a kind of tyranny of positivity that pushes us to always be happy, motivated, and energetic.

When someone expresses sadness, anxiety, or anger, the immediate social reaction is often to try to quickly ''fix'' it.

People are quick to give advice, to say ''cheer up'' or ''don't be like that.''

While these reactions are often well-intentioned, they often convey a problematic underlying message: that feeling these emotions is wrong and that they need to be gotten rid of as quickly as possible.

This emotionally invalidates us and prevents us from experiencing our natural processes. Sometimes, what we need most when we're sad isn't advice to cheer us up, but someone who will simply sit by our side and allow us to be sad.

We have a pending subject as a society: learning to tolerate and respect emotional discomfort, both our own and that of others.

We need to learn to take the time we need to get through a bad day, a bad week, or even a bad month.

This doesn't have to be something pathological that requires immediate intervention. It's part of the human experience. Of course, this doesn't mean that professional help isn't helpful.

It's crucial to seek it when an emotion becomes maladaptive, chronic, and begins to seriously interfere with our lives.

But we must differentiate between a normal emotional process and a clinical problem. A truly happy and fulfilling life is not one free of unpleasant emotions.

It is a life in which we learn to live with the full range of emotions, accepting them as part of our journey and knowing when to act.

Summary

Our culture promotes the idea of always being happy, which leads to invalidating emotions like sadness or anger. This prevents us from experiencing our emotional processes authentically.

Phrases like "cheer up" may seem helpful, but they often reinforce the idea that feeling discomfort is wrong. Acceptance and emotional support are more valuable than offering quick fixes.

We must learn to distinguish between natural and pathological discomfort. A full life does not eliminate unpleasant emotions, but rather integrates and manages them with understanding, acceptance, and appropriate support.