Overcoming Barriers: How to Manage the Mental Burden of Listening

Recognize and manage the flow of internal thoughts.

One of the most significant barriers to active listening is mental workload, that is, the constant flow of internal thoughts competing for our attention.

Even though we may be physically present in a conversation, our mind may be elsewhere, preoccupied with bills, unfinished tasks or emails to be answered.

This internal psychological noise severely affects the quality of our listening, as the brain is unable to perform multiple complex cognitive tasks at once.

When we are immersed in our own internal dialogue, it is impossible to devote 100% of our mental resources to truly understanding the speaker.

The first step in overcoming this barrier is therefore to recognize the existence of this flow of thoughts and understand it as a distraction that must be actively managed.

The trap of preparing the answer while the other person is speaking

A specific and very common form of mental charge is the tendency to prepare our response while the other person is still speaking.

Instead of listening with the intention of understanding, we listen with the intention of responding.

The moment we formulate our next argument in our heads, we stop processing the information that is coming to us, causing us to miss potentially crucial details of the message.

This habit is often visible to the speaker, who can perceive in our gaze or body language that we are simply waiting for our turn to speak.

This dynamic turns a conversation into a series of overlapping monologues instead of a true dialogue, preventing any deep understanding and eroding the connection between the interlocutors.

Technique to free the mind and be 100% present

To effectively combat the mental burden and be fully present, a simple technique can be used: writing to free the mind.

When a distracting thought, idea or urgent task arises during a conversation, the best action is to quickly write it down.

Then, a reminder can be scheduled on the calendar to address that issue later.

This simple act of externalizing the thought "gets it out of your head" and provides peace of mind that it will not be forgotten.

By entrusting that thought to an external system, we free up our mental capacity, allowing us to refocus entirely on the conversation and give our conversation partner the full attention they deserve, ensuring much more effective listening.

Summary

A significant barrier to listening is mental load, the flow of internal thoughts competing for our attention. This internal psychological noise severely affects the quality of our listening, which must be actively managed.

A common form of mental load is the tendency to prepare our response while the other person is still speaking. This dynamic turns a conversation into a series of monologues instead of a true dialogue.

To combat mental load, the technique of writing can be used to free the mind by quickly jotting down any distracting thoughts. By entrusting that thought to an external system, we free our mental capacity.