Differences between aggressive, passive and assertive communication

In communication, there are different styles that influence the way we relate to others and how others perceive us. Among the most common communication styles are aggressive, passive and assertive communication. It is important to know the differences between them in order to identify them and choose the most appropriate one for each situation.

Aggressive communication: Aggressive communication is characterized by the imposition of one's own interests, feelings and opinions without taking into account those of others. It is expressed in a way that is usually offensive, denigrating or insulting, which can lead the other person to feel attacked and react defensively. In this type of communication, a result is sought at any cost, even at the expense of the other person.

Aggressive communication can manifest itself in different ways, such as destructive criticism, offensive language, authoritarian tone, use of threats, intimidation, manipulation and humiliation. Some examples of aggressive communication are:

• "How can you be so dumb, you don't understand anything!"

• "Whatever you do, you always do it wrong!"

• "You never do anything right."

• "If you don't do what I tell you, you'll regret it."

People who use aggressive communication often have difficulty resolving conflicts and maintaining healthy relationships. They may experience frustration and anger when they don't get what they want and may feel that others don't understand or appreciate them.

Passive Communication: Passive communication is characterized by a lack of expression of one's feelings, needs, and opinions. People who use passive communication often avoid conflict and may have difficulty setting boundaries and making decisions. They may fear rejection, criticism or failure, and may believe that they have no right to express themselves or that it is not worthwhile to do so.

Passive communication can manifest itself in different ways, such as submission, avoidance, unconditional acceptance of others, lack of assertiveness and the use of vague or ambiguous expressions. Some examples of passive communication are:

• "It doesn't matter, do what you want".

• "I don't care, you decide"

• "I have nothing to say"

• "I don't want to bother"

People who use passive communication may have difficulty establishing healthy and satisfying relationships. They may feel that their needs are not being met and may experience resentment and frustration as a result.

Assertive Communication: Assertive communication is characterized by the clear and direct expression of one's own feelings, needs and opinions while respecting those of others. People who use assertive communication seek a balance between their own needs and those of others, and strive to communicate effectively and constructively.

Assertive communication can manifest itself in different ways, such as expressing emotions, setting clear boundaries, using clear and specific language, and seeking mutually satisfactory solutions. Some examples of assertive communication are:

• "I get frustrated when you don't keep your commitments."

• "I would like you to listen to me and consider my opinions."

• "I prefer that you speak to me with respect."

• "I believe we can find a solution that works for both of us."

People who use assertive communication tend to have more satisfying and healthy relationships, as they are able to express their needs and feelings clearly and respectfully, and to set boundaries and resolve conflicts effectively. They may also feel more confident and self-assured, as they respect and value themselves and others.

In conclusion, choosing the right communication style for each situation is essential to establishing healthy and effective relationships with others. Aggressive communication can cause harm to others and ourselves, while passive communication can lead to frustration and resentment. Assertive communication is the most effective form of communication, as it allows us to express our needs and feelings in a respectful and constructive manner.