Criticism and blame

Making mistakes is not a phenomenon alien to any person, nor is it something to be ashamed of. Mistakes are very common, especially in people who make many decisions or perform dissimilar actions. Every time we make a decision, two possibilities open up; either we are right and will obtain the expected results, or the decision was wrong and therefore a mistake on our part. Once the error has been assumed, some people choose to criticize their actions and the motivations that led to them, while others resign themselves to guilt as the only mechanism.

During the development of this guide we will be conducting an analysis of the criticism as opposed to the feeling of guilt about the mistakes and the differences that exist between assuming one position or the other.

Assuming a position of guilt in the face of our mistakes

The attitude of feeling guilty about the occurrence of mistakes can be very detrimental when it comes to learning from them. Blame is a very simple resource that requires little effort on our part, which is why most people with low emotional intelligence opt for it. Blaming oneself is nothing more than dumping discouragement and sadness on oneself, without paying attention to the factors that influenced the mistake or trying to gather as many positive experiences as possible from it.

When we feel guilty it is very difficult to think clearly, we begin to make wrong decisions in order to stop feeling guilty, we do not take the time to meditate on each step we take, so it is very likely that we end up making many other mistakes along the way.

Assume a critical position in the face of our mistakes.

It is very important that we learn to discern between guilt and criticism. We must not confuse each of these positions, while guilt does not offer solutions and leads us to make new mistakes, criticism is a valuable tool to collect positive experiences of each of the mistakes made.

Through criticism we do not seek to assume the role of the guilty party and regret what we have done, but to try to understand exactly what has happened and what are the factors that have intervened so that our decisions turned out to be wrong. Through criticism we can learn and gather information about what works and what doesn't when facing similar situations in the future.

Both self-criticism and criticism of others, in a constructive way, will be very useful for our personal and spiritual development.

Assuming responsibility

We should not confuse the fact of evading blame with the fact of evading responsibility. By blaming ourselves we only seek to feel sorry for ourselves or to make others feel sorry for us. When we assume responsibility for our actions, we understand that no one else can solve our problems and that we must take responsibility for every mistake we make. To be responsible is not to hide when we make mistakes, but to face difficulties with the mentality of overcoming the situation and knowing how to get the most out of it.

By discarding blame and maintaining a critical view of our mistakes, we are assuming a responsible posture, since we are preparing ourselves not to make the same mistakes in the future, learning from our stumbles and drawing the maximum experience from them. Responsibility for our actions begins with knowing how to accept that mistakes are a human factor and that this does not make us weaker or less capable.