The development of self-awareness

You know or are beginning to discover your identity. You understand that your opinion is nowhere near the true essence. You build a habit and flow with all the attitude to fulfill that golden dream, but sometimes you feel afraid. You don't believe you can do it all and you crumble. You trust in the end result but not in your capabilities to achieve it.

In this chapter I will show you how wrong you are because again you use the perception you have of "your" reality and you do not open yourself to the world of trial and error so that SUCCESS shines.

Self-concept.

We will learn to develop our self-awareness by elaborating a cognitive modification of mental connections. You think, reason and talk about your incapacity, invading with it a vital confusion oriented towards the following elements: self-concept, self-esteem, confidence and self-consciousness.

What is self-concept?

You are trying on a new dress in front of the mirror and you say:

• How fat I am, I should eat less. Even though I know my diet ends when I smell like food. Go to the gym, maybe? But who are you kidding Veronica? You won't go.

Self-concept is governed by our evaluation of ourselves. We are judges who give their appreciation and/or approval between what is perception, ability and experience, demonstrated when we say:

• I think I know how to cook, I can cook and I have reproduced that recipe millions of times.

• Experience plays a weighty factor in our assessment. Experience we acquire in different areas: personal, social and professional. Behavioral assessment, on the other hand, also leans towards other people.

  We are able to intuit when someone you have just met is pretending to be someone they are not or when out of the blue you confirm that they are lying. Somehow we create in our library of normalized behaviors those that are, those that are not and those that are not:

• Were you really the fastest sperm?

• As a life coach, encouraging self-concept will contribute to the development of personality based on acceptance and self-esteem.

Acceptance.

Yes, you have a bad temper, so what? You won't change anything if you just focus on being nice. No. Accept your bad temper, it's part of you. Of course it has a solution, you can learn to improve the not so hurtful way of expressing what you feel, but accept that your first reaction will be to get irritated.

Accepting ourselves is equivalent to giving ourselves value. Who does not want to be happy? We all want to be happy, because we are all looking for the same thing and that gives value to the word happiness. You, as a future coach, already have a value for your client. He believes that you will be his god and help him change, but the truth is that he also has value for you.

Self-awareness.

How else do you fulfill your role as a coach? Try to find the value you already have, and developing self-awareness is key to this. But what is self-awareness? That ability to know ourselves and discover our potential and weaknesses, as we accept and move into the unknown with a clear picture of who we are. Without deception. Completely real. Self-awareness that, without realizing it, we try to have when we are part of a conflict with no apparent solution and frustration penetrates our bones like a sailor to his ship.

Now, how to develop self-awareness:

• Step : Reflect.

  Tend to write down all the conjectures that go through your mind. Label your emotions, name them as they fit and relate them to the stimulus that produced them.

• Step: Watch your criticisms.

  In what you usually criticize hides a major part of the fear to face the situation, if you usually criticize that your cousin compensates her existential emptiness in unrestrained purchases you can hide a certain fear of compulsions or envy. Only you will truly understand how you feel.

• Step : Watch your passion.

  The opposite of the above. What you are passionate about in others, you carry within you. It is a fact. As it is inside is outside and as it is outside is inside. Metaphysical law. Sound familiar?

• Step: Test yourself.

  If you keep a journal of your reflections you will know how you will act at a given moment. Induce that moment and then check that your sadness was really due more to inattention than to yelling, for example. If we have our sights on the wrong spot. Of course we do. That's why we don't change, because we don't know what to change.

• Step: Focus.

  If your family is waiting for you to get to a restaurant you don't know what it is, how do you expect to get there? It doesn't make sense. You can't set out to change or accept something in you that you don't know what it is yet. You are a little box of surprises and if you haven't started to delve into every detail in your head yet, what are you waiting for to start?