The different perspectives within a discussion

The points of view we assume during a confrontation are usually biased by different emotional elements that intercede in our way of perceiving the facts, which is why each party involved in a discussion usually defends its criteria strongly, making it difficult to reach a middle ground where both are satisfied. It is normal to feel that we are right and believe that the only valid points are our own. The longer we remain defending an argument, the more complex it is to modify our thinking and try to enter into the point of view of our counterpart.

During the development of this guide we will be addressing some of the most important basic aspects regarding the different perspectives within a discussion and the need to practice empathy as a useful tool when confronting positions.

We should not take arguments as a personal attack.

When we argue in a discussion, we do so in order to provide elements that support our arguments. Taking these elements as an attack against the person is a very frequent mistake among those who do not have a culture of debate. With the arguments we try to demolish the bases that support the arguments of our opponent, it is not about focusing on the personal elements of this or seek to hurt their emotions.

If you are having a discussion with another person you must pay attention to what he/she expresses about the central theme of the debate, if you take his/her explanations as offenses or attempts to demerit you, it is very unlikely that you will be receptive enough to accept that you are wrong or to modify some of the points you are defending.

Always be willing to acknowledge a mistake

If during a discussion your opponent points out that you are in error and you are able to acknowledge it honestly, this will significantly shorten the outcome of the debate. Contrary to what many believe, acknowledging a mistake is a sign of courage that will be admired by your counterpart. It is very likely that once you accept that you have made a mistake in one of the points you were defending, your opponent will also recognize errors in his behavior or in his arguments. This happens for two fundamental reasons.

The first is empathy, which motivates us to be sensitive to the state of mind of those who interact with us; and the second is that it is generally very difficult to find a discussion where one of the parties is one hundred percent right and the other is completely wrong.

Practice empathy in your discussions

When arguing with another person, it is important that you keep in mind to use empathy as a mechanism to avoid doing or saying things that you may later regret. Empathy is the ability to put ourselves in another person's place to perceive facts and feel the same way they do. Thanks to empathy, we know when we are hurting someone, what comment was inappropriate and whether we are behaving appropriately.

Conduct your debate with others in the same way you would want them to behave with you and you will be much more likely to be able to have respectful and polite communication. Don't do to your opponent what you wouldn't want done to you. If you feel that a comment of yours has been inappropriate, don't hesitate to apologize and make amends. Remember that the culture of debate is based on argument, not personal attacks.