Emotions

You are afraid of frogs and you happen to hear a ¨croac¨. Your brain amygdala, the one in charge of detecting that signal, thinks that it represents a danger for you and sends the order to the brain. Your heart starts pumping blood at a thousand per hour and you sweat due to the overheating of your body. The adrenal glands release adrenaline to predispose us to action. The protective instinct arises: "Are you going to attack or run away?

Once the brain reacts to what is happening, a thousandth of a second later, it realizes that it was not a real frog, it was a 3D movie you were watching. The amygdala does not judge, it does not think, it is impulsive, hence the insistence of educating our emotions, like any self-respecting rational being.

Emotion.

We have seen that emotions are psychophysiological reactions originated by a stimulus: real or imaginary. This reaction is triggered by being automatically and unconsciously valued as pleasant or dangerous for our well-being or survival. The amygdala and limbic system are involved in this process. But what is the limbic system? A structure located below the cerebral cortex.

It plays an essential role in learning, long-term memory and our response to emotions. Within this system is the amygdala, which specializes in emotional memory. Everything you remember that makes your skin crawl and you smile without intending to. That's the amygdala.

Negative emotions.

I invite you to write down on a sheet of paper all these negative emotions and when you feel some kind of inner uneasiness cross them out, write the day, what and who caused it. In case it is not any of these emotions, write down the one that most resembles:

• Worry, frustration, disappointment, grief, sorrow, pain or disgust are contained within sadness.

• Worry, insecurity, longing and despair, are linked to anxiety, whereby longing becomes an excessive thought towards the future.

• Fear as the maximum exponent of horror and panic that we are capable of conceiving in our little heads.

Positive emotions.

Now you will do the same in another list, but instead of crossing out the positive emotions you experience, you will bring them up:

• For joy we will elicit some level of delight, fun, euphoria or humor. How do we achieve this? By doing something we really enjoy, taking up a hobby, watching a comedy or being incredibly silly. Yes, be a kid. Laugh. Make up.
• For love let's encourage the hormone oxytocin, linked to social contact: your pet, your friends, spending time with you and generating self-love. The emotions are respect, tenderness, gratitude. The latter indicates your power to be grateful for what you already have.

• For happiness there is nothing left but to dwell again on the little things. Seeing the sea, feeling the waves, listening to music or drawing. The consequent emotions are: inner peace, tranquility, satisfaction, among others.

• Did you know that aesthetic emotions exist? In this section it would be a good idea to decorate your home, give it your own stamp. Give life to that old painting you have lying in a corner. Make your home or your personal place a work of art, and arouse aesthetic emotion. Associating your resting place with pure emotions such as peace and tranquility brings you specific comfort. It literally increases pleasure and positive emotions.

Emotional self-regulation.

To achieve a stable emotional self-regulation, you must know that you will continue to experience emotions but let's say in "slow motion", meaning that when a friend says a hurtful comment, for example, you will know when disappointment is activated in you. A lump in your throat, you won't be able to string together any tone of voice, and like a pressure cooker you will evaporate your feelings by crying, so that self-regulation will begin with:

• Becoming aware of your body: close your eyes, get into a comfortable position and begin to feel or infer the blood rushing through your body. Pay attention to what you hear, the air on your skin, touch, sight and taste. Everything.

• Practice with a live emotion: How can I deal with this agitated breathing from anger? Focus on the breath, hold the exhalation for 5 seconds and inhale another 5 seconds. Do you have that nasty lump in your throat? Feel it.

• Before thinking about positive things know the negative manifestation in your body, only then you will be able to control it. This exercise is merely a guideline, not for you to respond to emotions, but to analyze your own organic response. Enjoy the silence. Do not speak while you perceive those desires to scream, just allow yourself to identify what you FEEL.

• Association: Did you know that your subconscious doesn't know the difference between what you say and what you think? That is why saying "I am strong" or thinking about the strength we have evokes a myriad of positive thoughts. When we feel at the edge of our limit, let us associate an object with the stimulus that causes it. Does your partner's screaming bother you a lot? Imagine that a balloon is those screams and your annoyance will be poured into it, so while you inflate it think, mentally shape the balloon, write the word: "screams" and when it is inflated, blow it up. Your brain will think it has solved the problem, as long as you do not expose yourself to that event or situation again.
• Think before you speak: Eternal arguments. You can't stand still and you have to add the final point. Do you think you do it out of a sense of fairness? No, it's your ego. Your ego doesn't like to feel inferior or see that it's not in the right. Learning to put your head down and say "you are right" is not a symptom of weakness. So thinking gives you a specific north of how to act.

• You say the apple is red and John says it is for eating. You saw its characteristic and John saw its function. You both agreed, although sometimes one is closer to the truth than the other. So breathe, think and then say: I understand your point of view, but we must come to an agreement.