How to strengthen our relationships?

What a child, even if it is not in his or her plans, develops: imagination. A coach must understand, internalize and act with the singular and complex piece of COMMUNICATION. Leave a life coach without the facility to understand the verbal or non-verbal language of his clients, the emotions, why he says it or why he keeps it quiet, and what beliefs he keeps inside, and we are left with a non-coach, a superficial and cold person, where nothing can lead to change. In this section we will delimit the elements to take into account to develop the communicative ability and in the next videos we will approach each one of the aspects that will demonstrate the true enigmatic power of communicating in all the extension of that word.

Listen.

Your mother is getting busier and busier. Phone in hand. Watchful glance at the grandchildren to keep them from jumping back on the couch. One last sprinkle of salt on the baked sea bass. In all this process of "multitasking" you choose to tell her your worries. She tells you: "Don't worry, I'm listening". But she hasn't hung up the phone yet, she hasn't stopped watching her grandchildren and the sea bass has yet to brown. Do you think she is really ready to listen to you? He may hear you, he may feel in the background, like an extra character in your favorite series, but he will not listen to you with all the attention it requires. Attention is the basic element. If all our senses are not directed to the person, we will not be able to LISTEN.

Empathy.

Then you get annoyed with your mother and do not continue to expose your thousands of arguments, thus eliminating any communicative vestige. Know how to put yourself in the other person's shoes and say:

• Sure, you've been cooking all day, with a lot of problems on top of it.

• Obviously I have to wait for you to get out of your way so that you can attend to me and hopefully provide me with a solution.

• Empathy is not self-deception and inferring problems that do not exist.

• Observe your environment, analyze your life and if the environmental influences do not give you a north, ask: What's wrong with you that I see you so distracted? Sometimes we look only at our navel and deny ourselves the opportunity to understand. Understand well.

Ability.

Can you walk? Perfect, does that mean you can run? You don't have any impairment that disables you in that activity? Then, you have the ability to "run".

Now, do you have the physical endurance to run 10 kilometers without getting tired? Maybe not, in that case, you are able to run, but you must create a strategy or routine to enhance that ability. That is a skill. The ability to perform an activity, assuming a habit and a way to do better and better. By having the communication skill, you will be able to communicate just as well with a teenager as with an elderly lady.

Feedback.

Has it ever happened to you that you talk and talk but the other person doesn't reciprocate? The conversation is summarized in a question-and-answer interrogation. For a communication to be considered effective, it is necessary that both parties contribute to convey a message. The fact of not taking into account the attitudes of the other and continuing to conduct the conversation in the same outdated line, emanates a feeling of stress that would retract any purpose of personal improvement. If he only responds to you, invest time in using his response to model beneficial teaching. Talking for the sake of talking is not communicating; communication requires usefulness and information on both sides.

Trust.

How do I get Matias, a close-minded man with strong principles, to trust me? Being a coach, we need that to be the motto or the image we transmit. To achieve that image we must first of all, turn our word into GOLD. If you say: "See you at 2:00 pm. Don't be late, be punctual. If your word is to be trusted, you are to be trusted.

In the same way if a person tells you their problems, they should feel that they are your problems too, and respond with a gesture of concern and respect. Demonstrating that you are not a being of stone will also help for this purpose. Show her how you feel and occasionally some experience you have had as well to strengthen the bond.

The right environment.

That is, if you are both communicating with each other, based on proper respect, empathy and trust; make sure the atmosphere you choose is the right one. In a noisy environment you will not be able to listen and thinking would become more than difficult, an impossible task and destined to failure, generating negative emotions that hinder the comfort of tranquility to "unwind". If you are not comfortable, calm or can not listen, is communication valid? Or rather, would it be useful? If after arguing with your partner, a thousand better arguments come to your mind, it means that in hostile environments you cannot reason clearly.

Importance of social relationships.

Social relations are "installed" as an "application" of urgent necessity to "use". In previous versions, this application, valid in any Android or IPhone system, helped us to build our self-esteem, to the extent that the "magnifying glasses" of others tend to be decisive in our image under construction, going through adolescence or consolidating identity, in our youth.

The family nucleus forms us under its own terms and ideology and then friends and society allow us to confront those chosen paths and, being a coach, questioning them and helping to overcome certain stigmas or self-imposed and accepted beliefs gives us a glimpse of the path towards our path: overcoming.