Stop victimization

It is common to find ourselves in situations that discourage us and cause setbacks in our plans, the way we learn to deal with these situations determines the speed with which we manage to reincorporate ourselves to our usual life and continue working on our projects. While some accept adversity as something normal and understand that it is part of life, others choose to victimize themselves by assuming a negative attitude that is counterproductive for the purpose of personal improvement.

Victimization in itself is a resource that does not contribute anything positive to the management of problems, what is achieved with it is to extend the period of suffering without doing anything really effective to eradicate it. During the development of this guide we will be talking about the negative effects of victimization and why we should avoid this behavior.

What is victimization?

Victimization is the attitude that consists of wanting to adjust to the role of victim without doing anything to overcome the situation that has put us in this state. Victimization does not contribute anything positive, it is a defeatist way of looking at life, because instead of focusing on solutions we focus on the problem. People choose to victimize themselves because of many factors that occur at a subconscious level, among them are:

• Need for attention.

• Low self-esteem.

• Lack of self-criticism.

• Desire to find someone to blame for our problems.

• When we victimize ourselves we seek to convey the message that we are exempt from responsibility for the way we feel, that other people are to blame for our problems and that we should be treated as victims at all times. It is not wrong that we need some time to get ourselves together emotionally, the mistake lies in wanting to pigeonhole ourselves in the role of the victim without doing anything to overcome it.

Assume responsibility

Under the idea that the victim is never responsible for the events that occurred, many feel calmer when they remain in this state. We must be able to take responsibility for the events that affect us, in one way or another we intervene in every situation that relates to us. Although we cannot handle certain elements external to our person, we can choose how we will face each of the adversities and what mentality we put in our actions.

Getting out of depression and assuming an optimistic point of view as soon as possible, is something that depends exclusively on us, so looking for a culprit to our low spirit of improvement is a cowardly attitude that we must avoid at all times.

Focus on the present

What happened is already part of the past, reliving the same memories over and over again in order to return to the role of victim is not an intelligent attitude. No matter how bad what happened to you is, it is now time to focus on the present. The sooner you can get back to reality, the sooner you will be able to recover from the damage and develop strategies to regain what you have lost.

When you manage to overcome an adverse situation, the only thing left to do is to take stock of what happened in order to learn from your mistakes, not to feel sorry for yourself or to make others feel sorry for you. Everything that is in the past is beyond your possibilities, you cannot modify what has already happened, but you can prevent it from happening again. When you think you are victimizing yourself, try to change your thinking to a more rational one, analyze if it is worth wasting time in regrets or if it is time to work on your present.