The perception of reality (I)

We have seen the importance of learning, as well as the role of self-knowledge in achieving real goals and lasting results. In addition, the inscrutable relationship between habit and positive motivation as a revitalizing energy for progress and new challenges, a fact to keep in mind if we persist in our role as facilitators or life coaches. Which I can continue to affirm since you are still on this course, right? The fact that others understand your concept of reality, will offer us a wide range of knowledge and rewarding power: to grow as people and why not say it transcend as souls, although of course, this is a personal opinion. You see? Pure subjective bias. Reality is an image we build based on life experience and development. There are horses, obviously, but the criteria and experiences we have of them or with them is what will complete our strict sense of that word: horse. On this basis we can infer that when you argue with your partner, it is no longer just you and the other person. The war of egos comes into play. The narrow margin of perception of two beings who only speak from what they have lived. And that's when you judge a friend for treating you badly, turn your back on them and walk away. You even assumed that was the worst day of their life. All you did was condemn their behavior. It's that basic. That person didn't deserve to be in your life, right?

The mistake of assuming.

And what became of that plate you broke? Your mother screaming out loud while your father cursed how clumsy you were. Yet they didn't ask you why you were clumsy. They took it for granted. You are clumsy.

We tend to excuse our behavior but the vast majority of the time we are incapable of putting ourselves in someone else's shoes. We just laugh and assume, "Maybe he was tired," and then there is only the remnant of a cold, shallow empathy that gets us nowhere. You expect a person to help you when you have a problem, you expect your mother to squirm with happiness when you tell her that you haven't had a drink for two weeks. Sometimes you just wait, and that's your fault too. It's a reality that you perceived all by yourself. It's not that it doesn't exist, it's that your little head worked it out in such a specific way that from one to ten, nine comes within 1,000,001 miles of the truth.

Beliefs.

And then there are those beliefs we don't question: Boyfriend who doesn't have girlfriends? Weird. wife who doesn't argue? Weirder. Then we pour our hearts into every detail, because it's not possible for your boyfriend to be perfect! And that's when the disappointments come. "He who seeks ends up finding". Does the saying ring a bell?

Most of the time being disappointed is a blessing, because you take off the blindfold and SEE your reality. Before you only thought you saw it. There is a world beyond our noses, worlds just as plausible as our own. If you like psychology you will know that an essential precept is: "know thyself first", and this is because there is no better lab rat than the one that looks back at you in the mirror. Sorry to call you a rat. Have you ever wondered: why did I do that? While you were trying to understand without any explanation. From now on, whenever someone approaches you to let off steam or simply to ask you the time on the bus, look inside him. What does he say? What does he not say with his look? How does he think? How does he react? What does he believe about the world? Embrace the perspective of everyone you encounter in your universe. Go beyond genuine, natural emotion. Whatever they are telling you, focus on the emotion of how they are conveying it. Discover their essence with the passion that overflows the joy in their voice. Emotions have a shorter duration in time. You may get emotional twenty times a day, or you may present several emotions in response to a phone call, a visit to the circus, or a disappointment in love. Emotions tend to reflect ourselves, what we think and what we believe.

The power of emotions.

Albert Bandura, a psychologist in social learning, recognized that if you positively reward an action of yours, it has the same effect, or more, than one reinforced by external laws. That is to say, if I usually incentivize in myself the joy that comes from finishing an exercise routine, perhaps I will achieve the muscle tone I long for, but not if the only motivation to start my diet is to be called "fat".

Don't set your goals too high all at once. It's about starting to trust yourself. If it is too tedious to go to bed early, try to understand yourself. You created a habit before without having wanted it. You got into the habit of changing your sleeping hours. Eventually, you'll reach an intermediate level of difficulty and you can have fun while teaching others who are just starting out. Double learning for your little brain! Remember the fine line of habit? It will already be thicker, because you've practiced over and over again. Eventually, you'll reach an intermediate level of difficulty and you'll be able to have fun while teaching others who are just starting out. Double learning for your little brain! Remember the fine line of habit? It will be thicker by now, because you've practiced over and over again. Would it be a disease to untangle your hair because a gust of wind tangled it? It would be the same, emotions become responses to our environment. Dare to think like that: Daniel Goleman, American psychologist who popularized the term Emotional Intelligence. He said that we should enhance these elements: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills. Do these skills sound familiar to you as a future coach? Did you know that by vibrating in positive emotions you are able to attract almost anything you set your mind to? The trick is not to stop thinking unpleasant thoughts. There will always be those rebellious thoughts of mass destruction, but a conciliatory emotion that accepts, smiles and says "I'm fine", will dissipate everything bad. Therefore, when, in your training process, you have to help someone, you must understand that people speak from their own experiences and emotions. Your duty is not to criticize or eliminate those predispositions. After all, they come to you because they are "tied" to those beliefs. Closed mind, unanswered questions. Minds that believe that the past will haunt them wherever they go. Your role will be to teach them to reason about their own self-concept, to deduce new fields of thought and action. And make clear the enigma of time: you have the capacity to modify your present, as long as you act. You will end up becoming what you say you are. Victimizing yourself only aggravates the problem. Our attention is directed toward what we don't want to happen. You don't want more debt. You don't want to get fat. You don't want to die single. You don't want to commit to anyone. Do you realize what a negative all those phrases are? Let's eliminate the "no." What's left? Statements that only give rise to fears. And... what happens when you are afraid?

You try to protect yourself, but many times that protection gets you into a kind of loop and fear attracts back that which you repudiate. So, you don't want to die single, but you refuse to change that vinegar character you have, you don't want to have more debts but you dedicate every day to gamble and drink as if there was no tomorrow. Do you see the concordance in your deeds? You are heading towards what you don't want. People will approach you not because you know how to listen or are absolutely willing to help, but because you know how to inquire and reason.