The help process

In the coaching relationship there will always be a series of steps to be followed by the client. Let's call it method or stages through which the process of help goes through.

We are not gurus or gods who will fulfill a "magical" dream. Our role is to help uncover the reasons that brought the person to the edge. This process comes with great responsibility and a clear delimitation of the problem. Without a direction to follow, you will get lost along the way. Join us and you will understand!

The problem.

A coaching session needs to take into account what the problem is: the reason for the visit. Deceiving ourselves or jumping to conclusions about the cause of our discomfort is not conducive to change. Before rushing to identify what ails us, we should take the time to reflect and understand what is wrong with us:

• When did I start feeling unfortunate?

• To what main area of my life do I attribute this discomfort?

• What do I consider to be the "problem"?

• Does this "problem" affect my well-being?

• Why this particular problem and not another?

Define the objective.

Once we have identified THE PROBLEM, we can define our objective:

• What do we want to achieve?
• What solutions can we create to facilitate change?
• By being aware of our abilities and limitations, we are able to design a plan, analyzing the opportunities offered by the environment. Defining the objective is important, it helps us to focus on what we want to achieve and to take concrete steps to fulfill the plan. By having a clear objective, we will know how to determine what actions are necessary to achieve it and measure our progress towards it.

Brainstorming.

By defining the problem, we can start brainstorming ideas to find a solution. In marketing, this process is called "brainstorming" and consists of unleashing our creativity.

In brainstorming, participants are encouraged to express as many opinions as they can think of, no matter how far-fetched they may seem. The goal is to "express" dissimilar ideas and evaluate the best ones. In this way, we can eliminate biases and irrational beliefs. For example, if our problem is "difficulty relating to people," we can express possible origins of that adopted belief.

The solution.

In the midst of the consequent brainstorming, the best idea we have ever had may accidentally emerge. In that way, we arrive at the TRUTH. Perfect. Still, the story doesn't end there. We have an idea, but:

• Is it feasible?

• Can we carry it out given our skills and capabilities?

• We must be honest. In the end, if we deceive ourselves, who ends up being the loser? Exactly, ourselves.

Responsibility.

• Yes," you answer, "Not only is it a good idea, but it is also within my personal abilities or a challenge that I will set out to meet. What remains to be done, then, is to take responsibility for the process. There are no excuses. I couldn't do "such and such" because I overslept or got lazy. No. You are the only person who can help you. Among the powers of the coach is to guide, but if the client is not committed to the change, energy and time are being spent in vain. We need to change our thinking if we want to receive a different result.

Commitment.

Commitment and accountability are closely related. The difference is that you take responsibility without the need for great motivation. You just rely on the decisive power of your word: "Relax, it was my responsibility. You imply that "your word" was at stake and you failed.

On the other hand, commitment implies a purer act and a more realistic motivation:

• I commit myself to change.

• One cannot be separated from the other. When you commit, you are also holding yourself accountable. Commitment uses the power of words, attitude and motivation.
• Today, there is nothing stopping us from making progress. You possess the unique ability to make it happen. Don't let failure or a bad omen discourage you. If the solution you tried didn't work, try again.
• Follow these steps: recognize the problem, brainstorm, find workable solutions, and commit to implementing them. In the next topic, we will address the internalization of erroneous beliefs and goal-directed motivation. You can achieve anything you set your mind to! The question is whether you want to.