The quality of your relationships

What emotions do you usually have after a social gathering is over? Do you feel full of life or, on the contrary, tired and unwilling to do anything? There are certain "spiritual vampires" that drain your energy and dump their toxicity and pessimism on you. Like a vampire they "suck" your positive emotions and energy, so you will end up more tired after meeting with them. How to avoid it? By building quality relationships. Knowing how to set boundaries and respect adds up to a far-reaching benefit for yourself and society. Join us to learn how to have quality relationships so that the response we get from interacting with others will be:

• How good I feel!

Quality.

Quality is defined as the well-being achieved. A feeling of usefulness in our encounters. Valuing a social relationship by the quality in which it is shown, makes us have better emotions. We are happy because our relationships give us "happiness". Not saying the same thing, if you were dealing with toxic or bad-mannered people.

One cannot decide how one should behave and how others should operate. Therefore, having relationships in which we can predict future attitudes will make TRUST prevail, contributing to an EXPECTATION, as realistic as possible.

Acceptance.

We trust the person we know will not fail us or betray the friendship we claim to have. Trust in every area: friendship, professional or sentimental, implies having created moments, bonds and connections with the other. A bond that takes into account the acceptance of the other person, principles, active listening, trust, respect and limits.

Acceptance has nothing to do with tolerating negative behaviors. You have the obligation to accept the other person but not those behaviors that affect you. It is good to know how to say: "That attitude bothers me" or "what you are doing is not to my liking".

Personalize.

It is important not to relate the behavior to the person. It wasn't her who treated you badly, it was her behavior that made you feel bad. That way, we don't personalize bad actions. And we avoid believing, in a symbolic way: "that people are bad". Instead, their behavior was not appropriate, so it becomes easier to believe in change. If we label people as "bad", we are affirming that it is not in their power to transform the situation. Obviously, experience helps us to detect when a person will make bad habits a behavior again. To know how to move away and put healthy distances is a constant mission.

Principles.

Let's talk now about our principles. That linear concordance between what we want to be and what we are. If you do not like American series, under no circumstances should you say that you like them. It is not about fitting into a group by being unfaithful to your convictions. Don't be false. You are important and so are your tastes. If you betray yourself in something so basic, you will be breaking the law of respect, and we don't want that, do we?

Speculating and deceiving others in order to belong to their "group", will make you be despised when you stop pretending and show your true self. That was not the person you let into your space.

Limits.

It's about fitting in with the right people. What are boundaries? And what does it entail to put boundaries on our relationships? No, it's not about ending the conversation, it's not a time limit. Boundaries are rules of behavior. I'll get along with you, as long as you don't make fun of me, because you know it bothers me:

• In every social relationship, we usually set boundaries
• Did it bother you that I greeted you with two kisses?
• It's just that I'm atheist to physical contact.
• If once the limit has been set you continue to invade the physical distance, you are offending the person. Respect their needs.

Expectations.

Let's get to another crucial point: expectations. I know Lorena, she is sociable but she is not a crowd-pleaser. If I don't know this last detail about Lorena, I may be disappointed if I expose her to the same situation.

In the general expression on her face, and the incredible social skills she demonstrates, I can see how extroverted she is. If I invite her to a party, with a large number of people, what do I expect? I expect her to interact just as well there as she would at a gathering of friends. But no, the opposite effect happens and we get uncomfortable.

Was our disappointment her fault? No, it was because of a misconception we got. So the fairer thing to say would be:

• I'm sorry, it was my fault. I thought you would like that kind of environment.

• It's not a matter of venting unnecessary anger and saying to her.

• I thought you were different-and walk away slamming the door.

• Once again, respect is needed. Healthy, consistent respect. If you say.

• I respect your point of view, but you know nothing about life.

• You are not respecting and on top of that you are dumping your frustrations on a person who is not at fault at all.

Influences.

Now let's talk about influences. If your five friends are cheerful, what do you think? You will be influenced by those emotions. Surround yourself with people you admire, follow their example, not only for better quality in our relationships but also for a modification in our actions. For example: your brother is happy, and he keeps himself motivated by running every morning.

You have already seen the result of a toned musculature, so you will want to imitate him. So keep an eye on your environment and how much of a negative influence the people you live with have. You can adopt similar behaviors by contagion effect. Ask yourself: What are the people I interact with on a daily basis like?