Self-disclosure

Is it a good idea to talk about our problems? What is the role of self-disclosure in the use of communication skills? In previous videos we worked on the principle of immediacy to be taken into account in conversations, formal or informal talks that obey a concept of verbal-nonverbal integration. At this point we will focus on the verbal aspect, more related to emotions. Is it good to express what we feel, regardless of the circumstances or the role we are playing at the moment? Join us and together we will be able to satisfy this curiosity, understand the benefits and the questions to keep in mind to start getting involved in this area.

What is self-disclosure?

What comes to mind when we hear "self-disclosure"? No. Don't reveal his secrets to me yet or Sherlock Holmes revealed who the murderer was. Revealing goes beyond telling, it emphasizes the fact of bringing to light hidden contents, discovering a secret or elements that lie ignored in the conscience and in normal situations we would not consider telling.

Self-disclosure is decreed as a verbal intervention technique, in the process of revealing to the client a personal information or experience with a marked affective connotation. Next, we will see if this reinforces or distorts the bond created coach-client.

Types.

The types of self-disclosure we find obey to whether the information disclosed takes into account the helping process or not. That is:

• If in the relationship provided, the coach ignores the client's situation, venting or expressing equally intense situations experienced in the past, it is of a personal type. In this situation the coach renounces formality to be a kind of comrade. In this way he gives back an image of humanity and not a guru, as is usually associated with the coach.

• Negative elements are recognized, such as the loss of authority.

• When, on the contrary, the coach reflects his feelings in the situation related to the client's personal process, he takes into account the importance that the client gives him and everything he will express will be directed to the taking of a perspective, not to the imposition of a belief or norm. Helping others, without establishing protagonism will maintain professionalism but the coach may still perceive himself as an all-powerful God for the person in need of help. It is a good idea to analyze the situation to understand how, when and with whom to use these different approaches.

Benefits.

Among the benefits we can find by implementing this technique, we have:

• Sense of reciprocity: The client will feel that he can count on his coach, at the same time that he will learn to feedback and ¨reveal¨ the issues that he evaluated as ¨private property¨.

• It helps in the creation of a bond and the consolidation of trust before, during and after the interview.

• Understanding: The client feels that he/she is understood.

• Comfortable environment: Unconsciously the client will value the environment with a positive comfort thanks to the empathy demonstrated.

Self-disclosure and trust.

These benefits contribute to forge a trust and consolidation of the coach-client bond, while eradicating certain beliefs that the client is the only one capable of having problems and feeling helpless in the face of their illogical solution. It would demystify the idea that psychologists, therapists or coaches are there to tell you what to do and criticize you for your actions, not to show "friendship".

This is a very human way to share with the other and gain confidence, aspire to greater goals such as open-mindedness and the possibility of flowing with life, knowing that they are owners and masters of the chosen paths and above all, of the construction of the path to choose.

Disadvantages.

But, everything is not black and white. The excessive use of this technique or the implementation in the wrong circumstances could lead to certain risks such as:

• Loss of focus in the coaching relationship.

• Clearly misaligned roles and boundaries: The coach would no longer be the one who listens, but the one who is "drowned out".

• This results in the client thinking that his or her space is being used to deal with other, not equally important, issues.

• The coachee may stop being motivated and thus express inappropriate behaviors, disrespect, loss of authority and lack of trust in his "coach".

When to use this technique?

Before "jumping" into the excessive use of this technique, we must answer these questions carefully:

• What are the personality and essential characteristics of my client?
• What benefits would result if I decided to share my story?
• Is sharing my personal story a necessity for me or for him?
• Could it disrupt boundaries or negatively affect my relationship with him, creating conflicts that impede the helping process?
• Is it the right time, given his language?
• Would it affect the perception of me and therefore my professional credibility?