Accepting mistakes

Internalization

One of the most important aspects of this and previous topics is the internalization of information. One should never simply learn things by heart, on the contrary: it is always necessary to try to thoroughly understand what is presented to us. When a real exercise of analysis is made, we are better prepared to put into practice what we have learned, besides we are able to memorize it without making the effort, since what we internalize stays with us.

Common phrases we say when we make a mistake

• It wasn't me

• Well, but nobody is perfect

• I am not sorry

• He/she was to blame

• We all make mistakes

• It's true, I made a mistake, but so did you.

All these are phrases that hide a real non-recognition of the mistake, because we only accept it half-heartedly (or not at all) and try to divert attention elsewhere, so that our fault goes unnoticed. As a consequence, not only will we not be able to make amends, but it will become increasingly difficult for us to even identify when we are making a mistake.

Making a mistake is not a symbol of weakness.

Although we all make mistakes, one of the most widespread myths is the idea that making a mistake implies that we are weak or incapable, when the truth is that even the most skilled men and women have had to make a large number of mistakes before achieving success. You may find it helpful to delve into the life of someone you admire to discover some of the mistakes they have made.

The famous actress Meril Streep, for example, admitted to having made the mistake of not knowing what she was worth as a professional, which led her to accept low pay for her first jobs. Only after accepting that her success depended on her and analyzing that the real causes of her low income were due to an erroneous evaluation of herself did she become one of the highest paid actresses in Hollywood.

Only by recognizing our mistakes can we truly grow in any aspect of our lives. One of the best ways to express the importance of mistakes is in the words of world-renowned physicist Albert Einstein:

• "A person who has never made a mistake never tries anything again."

What to do when faced with a mistake?

• Acknowledge it: The first step is to identify that we have made a mistake, to realize that one of our decisions is not ideal, or correct, or even necessary.

• Accept it: Then we must accept, either to ourselves, if the mistake affects only us, or to others, if the mistake affects the people around us, that we have made a mistake. Say: "Yes, I made a mistake", and that's it, without adding any of the other things we say to diminish our failures.

• Analyze it: This is a very important step, because only by analyzing the mistake made we can reach a true understanding of the causes that conditioned it. It is here that we stop to think about how and when we have made a mistake, and what we could do to avoid repeating it in the future.

• Implement a new behavioral strategy so as not to make it again: Finally, after analyzing our mistake and defining a new strategy to follow, we can use everything we have learned to ensure that we do not make the same mistake again.

Let's say that whenever we have to get somewhere early, we miss the time because we don't listen to the alarm clock or we turn it off without realizing it. Whenever this happens we get very angry and say things like "What's with this alarm clock not ringing?", or "This is my sister's fault for forcing me to stay up late watching that movie with her." The result is that by refusing to acknowledge our own responsibility, we will continue to stay up late.

Every time we postpone acknowledging a mistake, we are postponing its solution. The concrete consequence of not accepting ourselves as solely responsible for getting up late, in this case, is that we jeopardize the effectiveness of any of our activities, not to mention the damage we cause t