Communication (i)

Verbal communication

The levels of verbal communication are:

• NON-COMMUNICATIVE: Communicates that he/she does not wish to establish communication.

• CONVENTIONAL: Casual conversation without personal depth. Greeting or social interaction, but no real emotional exchange. Acknowledgement of the other.

• OPINION OF ANOTHER: Other's opinions are expressed, such as "the doctor said that...". There is hardly any empathy and feedback is not allowed. Information is impersonal.

• I OPINION: A personal opinion is shared, assuming the risk of showing one's own opinion. The response of the other is sought and there is a desire to be accepted.

• I FEEL: Genuine communication of feelings. It includes authenticity and vulnerability. Encourages personal growth.

• FRIENDSHIP: Symmetrical communication, necessary to assimilate daily events. It is not mandatory to reach this level in coaching.

• COUPLE: Communication that includes sexual aspects, where body, mind and emotions are integrated.

The tone and the way we use words are key in communication. Many problems arise not from the words themselves, but from how they are expressed (volume, speed, manner). In coaching, it is vital to understand the content of what is being said and to grasp the feelings involved. Depending on how an utterance is phrased, the mood of the receiver can be changed, as in: "you are not finished yet, you are missing a..." (failure) versus "you are almost finished, you are missing a..." (success).

It is essential to choose words appropriately to express positive messages. Words such as "appreciate" or "approve" denote progress, while "stop" or "decline" imply regression. Avoiding negations is also key, as they can have the opposite of the desired effect. For example, instead of saying, "There will be no change in your next appointment," it is better to say, "You have your next appointment secured." This creates peace of mind.

Non-verbal communication

Non-verbal communication plays a crucial role in coaching. Emotional components are conveyed without words, and are responsible for the connection between coach and coachee. Here are some characteristics:

• It is linked to verbal communication and cannot be considered in isolation.
• It is unavoidable; even if you don't want to, something is always communicated non-verbally.
• 60-65% of the meaning of a conversation is obtained non-verbally.
• In case of contradiction, the nonverbal message is perceived as more truthful.
• It is largely unconscious and emotional.

In coaching, nonverbal language is used to establish control and formality, regulate the conversation and support feedback. A coach can convey confidence through posture, tone of voice and dress.

Kinesthetic behavior

Gestures, facial expressions and postures are fundamental to nonverbal communication. For the coach, knowing how to use these elements can break down defensive barriers and build confidence.

Some tips for showing confidence include:

• Avoid looking at the floor.
• Use your hands to gesture in a natural way.
• Maintain eye contact with the client.
• Do not force a smile or blink excessively.

Gestures such as nodding the head generate confidence, while hiding the hands or crossing the arms may denote disinterest. Body posture