Fundamentals of coaching

The possibility of change

Coaching helps people identify and drive the changes they need to make to achieve the goals we desire. It is a hope that encourages to trace a path and follow a plan of action, to gradually reach it and feel the inner well-being.

Change is a hopeful process that encourages us to get out of an unfavorable situation, allows us to avoid obstacles and find new opportunities; however, it implies challenges, obstacles and difficulties that can be so great that at certain moments they make us doubt, stop, return to the starting point and even to a previous point.

Change is a universal law that is fulfilled throughout the known universe even if we are not aware of it; everything changes by the law of cause and effect, that is, by a previous cause; therefore, man must intervene to facilitate the changes he desires and to avoid or delay those he does not desire. He must also learn to cope for a time and then recover from the sadness, anger and other feelings that arise when unwanted changes have occurred.

It is normal to feel fear of change: worry, anxiety, tension, and irritability are reactions that often occur when we try to change; this happens most of the time when we create false expectations, thinking that the outside world will change at our whim and we will be able to immediately relieve our discomfort. The option that others change may be easier for us, since we avoid our responsibility; however, the transformation will occur more safely, if we accept that the most important change is the one we manage to make in ourselves.

To achieve change in ourselves, we have to start by changing the views to which we are clinging, which keep us following a routine way of acting that atrophies our abilities and talents.

We must understand that change is part of our lives, so we have to try to take advantage of it; involving ourselves in it and orienting it effectively in our favor to achieve our goals.

Recognition of our potentials

The coaching process must make the client believe in him/herself so that he/she can achieve results far superior to those he/she regularly achieves. Most people have potential capabilities far superior to what they assume, these capabilities are manifested only in some limiting situations that human beings go through throughout life.

Once people are aware of the need for change, it is very important that they believe in their strengths to discover and bring out the best of themselves in order to achieve their objectives and goals. The coaching process should focus on discovering and developing competencies and skills that individuals have not yet discovered for various reasons.

Finding people's potential is a complex task for the person himself, some do not believe in their own potential or that of the other individuals around them; others feel confident and face change, but at the slightest setback, they give up because they do not feel they have the necessary strength to go all the way.

Awareness

For the client to be able to bring about a real and sustained change in his or her behavior, it is necessary for him or her to become aware of what is happening to him or her and why it is happening to him or her. Awareness implies understanding ourselves better, discovering our emotions, knowing the reasons for our thoughts and actions.

Awareness does not guarantee that change will take place, but without "awareness" it is practically impossible for change to take place. We must become aware of everything that happens to us in order to understand ourselves better and try to change what we think is necessary. The coach helps to develop the client's self-awareness through questions and reflections that promote self-knowledge and self-responsibility.

We must reflect on who we are, to understand what things we really want, and what things we want to change because we do not like them. Likewise, self-knowledge helps us to recognize our strengths and weaknesses, allowing us to set goals in accordance with our capabilities, values and feelings.

Responsibility

Responsibility is a value that is in the conscience of people to face in the most positive and integral way the situations that happen to us in life. Responsibility manifests itself not only in the ability to make decisions consciously, but also to assume the consequences of those decisions.

Many people are aware of the situation in which they find themselves and believe they are capable of resolving them, but lack the responsibility to start the path of improvement and growth. The coach must encourage the development of this value in the client, motivating him/her to recognize and respond to his/her own concerns, to improve without limits with his/her own resources the results of his/her actions and to assume the consequences of his/her faults.

People who do not assume their responsibility for the things that happen that are under their control, and justify or blame others for their bad actions, end up being victims of an uncontrolled life, slaves of the vices and defects that proliferate in their lives, due to their inability to face them and banish them forever.

Establishing the relationship

Between the coach and the coachee or client, a close professional relationship must be established that arises naturally from an alliance in pursuit of a goal. For the right relationship to emerge and be established, the following elements must be taken into account:

• Both parties must have a high level of motivation to engage in active participation in the coaching program.

• The relationship should be very close, while remaining a professional relationship led by the coach.

• The relationship should be based on sincerity, honesty, mutual respect and confidentiality of information.

• The coach must manage the client's expectations objectively. That is, the coach cannot motivate the client by promising miraculous or unattainable changes.

• The right environment must be created to express emotions and deep feelings, in which the coach must be involved without becoming trapped, in order to maintain his or her capacity as an objective coach.

• The coach should collect as much information as possible from his client in the different areas of his life (emotional relationships, family, work, recreation), as well as the ways of expressing his ideas and feelings (vocabulary, intonation, posture, facial expressions, etc.).