Conscious eye contact management

Eye contact is a crucial component of nonverbal communication and plays a significant role in how others perceive us and how we feel in social interactions.

Learning to manage it consciously and comfortably can improve confidence and the quality of our connections.

Eye Contact Discomfort and Anxiety

Many people experience discomfort or anxiety when attempting to maintain direct eye contact, especially when speaking with individuals of high social status, such as a boss, or in situations they perceive as intimidating.

This difficulty may manifest itself in a tendency to avert one's gaze, look down, or feel "weird," which in turn can undermine one's confidence and ability to think clearly.

It is important to recognize that this is a common experience and not a sign of weakness.

Even successful people can experience moments of social anxiety related to eye contact.

Dot on the forehead" technique

For high-pressure situations where maintaining direct eye contact is difficult, you can use a technique that involves focusing your gaze on the midpoint of the other person's forehead, right between the eyebrows, rather than directly into the eyes.

Most people will not notice the difference and perceive that they are being looked in the eye, whereas for the person applying the technique, this can significantly reduce the feeling of intimidation and help maintain composure and confidence.

This is a "baby steps" strategy for gradually getting used to more direct and sustained eye contact, especially useful if lack of confidence is a problem.

Eye Contact in Group Conversations

When talking to a group of people, a common mistake is to look exclusively at one individual, ignoring the rest.

This can make other people feel excluded, not valued or as if they are invisible, which prevents them from building a good relationship with the group as a whole.

The correct technique is to distribute eye contact among all members of the group, even if the main conversation is directed at one person.

You can look at the main speaker for a few seconds and then briefly make eye contact with each of the other people present before returning to the main speaker.