Cognitive distortions. fallacies and shoulds

Thinking fallacies and "should" statements are cognitive patterns that impose rigid and often irrational expectations on oneself, others, and the world.

These distortions can lead to frustration, guilt, anxiety, and an inflexible view of reality.

Fortunate Thinking

Although not listed as a "fallacy" per se in the source for this specific point, "fortune-telling" (referred to in the Original Topic 6 as 2.2.7) is a closely related distortion.

It involves negatively predicting the future and taking those predictions as facts, without considering other possibilities.

For example, "I know I'm going to fail the exam" or "This relationship isn't going to work out."

This negative anticipation creates anxiety and can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies.

Fallacies of Thinking

Fallacies that contribute to distress:

• Control Fallacy: This manifests itself in two opposing forms. Either the person believes they have complete control over everything that happens to them and are responsible for the feelings of others (omnipotence), or they feel they have no control and are a helpless victim of circumstances (powerlessness). Both are extreme and unrealistic views.

• Fairness Fallacy: This is the belief that life should always be fair and that things should work out according to one's notions of fairness. When reality doesn't match these expectations (which is common), the person experiences resentment, anger, or disappointment.

• Change Fallacy: This is the expectation that other people will change to accommodate our wants or needs if we exert enough pressure, persuasion, or sacrifice. It involves the belief that our happiness depends on others changing their behavior.

• Fallacy of Reason: This involves believing that one's emotions and opinions are direct reflections of objective truth and that one is therefore always right. It makes it difficult to accept other points of view and resolve conflicts.

"Shoulds" (Categorical Imperatives)

Statements based on "should" or "have to" (categorical imperatives) are rigid and often unrealistic internal rules about how oneself, others, or the world "should" be.

These beliefs impose inflexible expectations and can generate a great deal of guilt,frustration and anxiety when they are not met.

Examples include: "I should be perfect at everything I do," "People should always treat me with respect," "I should never make mistakes."

These self-demands or demands on others can be very detrimental to well-being, as reality rarely conforms to these absolute standards.

Modifying these "shoulds" into more flexible preferences or desires ("I would like that...", "I would prefer that...") is an important goal in cognitive restructuring.