Understanding how depressive thoughts work

One of the keys to beginning to overcome depression is understanding how our mind works.

Both anxiety and depression have a common origin: recurring automatic thoughts that, if not identified and questioned, end up shaping our emotions, decisions, and behaviors.

These thoughts are not consciously chosen, but arise automatically as part of the normal functioning of the human brain. Our mind is designed to think constantly. Even when we sleep, we continue to generate thoughts in the form of dreams.

Trying to “silence the mind” or eliminate negative thoughts is not only unrealistic, but can also be counterproductive. These thoughts—although painful or irrational—have an adaptive origin: to anticipate risks, protect us from danger, and help us survive.

The problem is not having negative thoughts, but how we relate to them and how much we take them as absolute truths.

Difference between thought and reality: cognitive defusion

One of the most common mistakes when you are depressed is to confuse thoughts with reality.

Believing that “if I think it, it's true.” However, thoughts are not facts; they are mental constructs, interpretations that the mind often elaborates automatically.

This phenomenon is called “cognitive fusion,” being so identified with our thoughts that we act as if they were true without questioning them.

Therapeutic practice offers a powerful alternative: cognitive defusion. This consists of distancing ourselves from our thoughts, observing them for what they are—words, images, passing ideas—and not as absolute truths that define who we are or what will happen.

For example, if I think “I am a failure,” instead of accepting it as a certainty, I can acknowledge:

• “I am having the thought that I am a failure.”

That small difference in language has a huge emotional impact, as it gives me back control over how I react to what I think.

How to detect and question negative thoughts

The first step in changing our relationship with depressive thoughts is to learn to recognize them.

Many people live on autopilot, reacting emotionally to what they think without analyzing it.

If a thought such as “I'm not good enough” pops into your mind, you will most likely accept it as true and act accordingly. This automatic reaction reinforces emotional distress and fuels depression.

Detecting these thoughts involves consciously pausing and observing your internal dialogue.

Ask yourself:

• What did I say to myself just before I felt this way?

• Is there any real evidence for this thought, or is it just an interpretation?

• What would I say to a friend if they thought this about themselves?

These questions help to interrupt the cycle of negative feedback.

The more you practice this exercise, the easier it becomes to identify cognitive distortions:

• generalizations (“everything goes wrong for me”)

• labels (“I'm useless”)

• catastrophizing (“this will never get better”)

Techniques for distancing yourself from self-critical thoughts

Once you have recognized negative thoughts and questioned their validity, the next step is to learn to distance yourself from them emotionally.

There are several techniques for achieving this mental defusion. One of the most effective is the conscious repetition technique:

• Repeat the thought exactly as it is (“I'm not good enough”) 10 or 15 times.

• Then add: «Estoy pensando que no soy lo suficientemente bueno».

• Finally, say: «Me doy cuenta de que estoy pensando que no soy lo suficientemente bueno».

This exercise creates a space between the thought and the person thinking it. Another useful technique is to dramatize the thought humorously, taking it to the extreme until it becomes ridiculous:

• “I'm so useless that I'm sure I even breathe wrong!“

This approach, which may seem irreverent, has a liberating effect, as it allows you to stop taking the messages of the mind so seriously and rigidly.

It is also useful to use anchor phrases to break the cycle of mental rumination:

• ”This is just a thought,“

• ”It's mental noise, not a command,”

• “Thanks, mind, for reminding me of that old story."

By repeating these phrases every time self-critical thoughts arise, you reinforce a more observant and compassionate attitude toward yourself.