Definition of Mature Love and Action

Love as verb and discipline

Culturally we tend to define love as a passive feeling that "happens" to us, like a virus that is contracted.

However, mature love is better defined as a deliberate action and discipline.

Authors and experts suggest that loving is, in essence, an act of will directed at nurturing one's own and another person's growth.

It is not simply feeling butterflies in the stomach, but the daily decision to behave constructively, even when the emotion is not present at its peak.

This approach radically changes the dynamic: we move from asking, "What is this person making me feel?" to "What am I doing to strengthen this person?" Love manifests itself in service, active listening and patience.

It is the ability to extend beyond one's own egoic boundaries to include the other.

If we rely only on fluctuating feeling, the relationship will be unstable; if we rely on a commitment to act lovingly, we create a solid structure.

The dichotomy between need and choice

A key indicator of maturity is the distinction between "I need you" and "I choose you." Need arises from an inner emptiness; it is a parasitic demand where the other is used as an emotional crutch.

If the other leaves, the dependent person collapses because his or her internal structure was externally supported.

"I need you to survive" is a burden, not a compliment. Healthy love, on the other hand, is based on conscious preference.

"I could live without you and be fine, but I choose to share my path with you because you enrich my existence." This stance frees the partner from the responsibility of sustaining our identity.

When two whole people come together by choice and not by lack, the relationship ceases to be a survival mechanism and becomes a space of creativity and mutual enjoyment. Freedom is the only fertile ground where real love can grow.

ABSTRACT

Mature love transcends mere passing emotion to become a deliberate and constant action, focused on actively nurturing the growth and well-being of both self and partner.

It is essential to distinguish between attachment born of lack, which uses the other as a crutch, and the conscious choice to share life from individual fullness and freedom.

When the relationship is based on voluntary preference and not on the need for emotional survival, the couple is freed from undue burdens, allowing for a healthy and creative bond.