Roles and Rights

The immaturity of the focus on rights.

There is a fundamental distinction in the human mindset that defines the quality of our participation in relationships: a focus on rights versus a focus on responsibilities.

A "rights" focused mindset is, in essence, infantile. It resembles the attitude of a child in a candy store screaming "I want, I deserve, it's unfair!".

In the adult context, this translates into people who are obsessed with what a partner, life or society "owes" them. "I have the right to be made happy", "I have the right to be accepted as I am without me making any effort".

This egocentric perspective blocks relational growth because it puts the focus exclusively on receiving and demanding.

Those who live claiming their rights tend to neglect their duties, becoming a harsh judge of others' faults while remaining blind to their own.

If we enter a relationship with a list of demands based on our "rights," we are setting the stage for conflict and chronic dissatisfaction, as no one will be able to satisfy an infinite demand for external validation.

Role definition through accountability

In contrast, maturity is defined by the voluntary assumption of responsibility.

The true "role" we occupy in a relationship (whether as a partner, parent, friend or leader) is not determined by our gender, title or status, but by what we choose to take responsibility for.

A "strong man" or a "strong woman" are not physical stereotypes, but people who decide: "I take responsibility for my emotional stability, my financial contribution, my honesty and my loyalty". The active role is built by supply, not demand.

By asking "what can I contribute here?" rather than "what can I get out of here?" we shift the dynamic from scarcity to generosity.

Taking responsibility is an act of personal empowerment; it takes us out of passivity and makes us creators of the relationship.

If we want to define who we are in the bond, we must look at our actions and commitments, not our expectations.

Strong identity in the couple is forged by consistently fulfilling the responsibilities we have freely chosen to accept.

SUMMARY

Focusing on "entitlements" and what you think you deserve is an immature and childish stance that creates constant demands and blindness to your own obligations within the relationship.

True maturity and the role we play are defined by the ability and willingness to take on concrete responsibilities, transforming passive demand into an active and conscious contribution.

By shifting the focus from "what do they owe me?" to "what do I take responsibility for?", personal power is regained and the foundations are laid for an adult, generous and constructive relational dynamic.